Exile
by Ellyrianna
Summary: 'Just...whatever happens, in the end - just walk on, okay' Squinoa.
1. Chapter One: Idealistic Trabia

---Disclaimer: I own nothing of Final Fantasy VIII; everything is © Square.  
  
---Author's Note: |Heart and Soul| is taking a little hiatus for now, just because I'm the author and I can do that. Particularly since nobody likes it anyway, it's not a major loss ;) Probably will end up deleting the poor bugger anyway. Well, hope you enjoy this . . . whatever this will end up being. The first sentence just popped into my head while playing the game, and I decided to go on from there.  
  
~  
  
It would be a typical Trabian winter.  
  
Rinoa leaned heavily on the windowpane, overlooking the barren, snow- covered plains with little apparent interest. She didn't understand exactly why she had come up here in the first place; there were plenty more appealing places to go. But Trabia, she had to pick Trabia. And not just Trabia - Trabia Garden as well, to top off her disgust. Nothing could be worse than spending the rest of her days as a SeeD for Trabia Garden.  
  
Sighing, she pulled away from the window, slamming it shut and leaning against the wall. She surveyed her room with a wrinkled nose; it wasn't exactly like the refined, functional SeeD dormitories that Balamb provided; a hastily-assembled bed was thrown against one wall, while a piece of plywood on two hunks of a split tree trunk was supposed to serve as a desk. Her uniforms were slung over the desk chair, wrinkled and unbuttoned; Rinoa never was one to do housecleaning. The blanket on the bed was off-center as well, something that Selphie's friend Asper never ceased to remind her about.  
  
When she had first arrived in Trabia, Selphie had wired Asper ahead of time to notify her about the young Sorceress' arrival. Mrs. Kinneas had taken the liberty of assigning Asp as Rinoa's official bodyguard, tour guide, and all-around friend. It was one move that was easily accepted on Rinoa's part; she didn't know anyone there. Cid's connections with the Trabian headmaster could only go so far as to have her not take the grueling exam (which included a fight with a blue dragon, something no one was keen on doing), and did not include providing her with brochures on how to get around the overly-crowded Garden. That was another reason she preferred Balamb to this wasteland; a large, room Garden with enough space to fit all the SeeDs and cadets recruited.  
  
Moving across to plop down on the bed, she folded her hands tightly in her lap, glancing around the room. She had been here for half of a year, and it still didn't feel like home the way Balamb had in just those few short months, weeks even. Everyone there had been like family to her; everybody here avoided her, afraid of what she could do to them. The white paint on the walls was chipping, and the single window in the room provided little more than a reminder that she was sealed off from the outside world.  
  
The corner of something was poking out of her desk drawer, she noticed uncertainly. Reaching up, she yanked on the handle to dislodge the whole drawer, and realized with a start what it was. Swallowing a dry sob, she drew it out slowly, holding it out in front of her.  
  
It was a picture, one that she hardly believed that she had dared to keep. It was at the celebration in Balamb after Ultimecia's defeat; she remembered going out shopping in Deling with Quistis and Selphie just to buy a proper, clean outfit for the photograph. All of their clothing was mud-smirched, blood-stained, ripped, torn, disheveled, and damaged in every way possible. Although it had become as much uniform to them as any other required attire, they decided upon something presentable for the occasion, since this picture would be created into a mosaic by the Garden Festival Committee and hung in the Quad for all to see.  
  
He was standing in the center, the barest of smiles upon his face. His hands were in his pockets, chestnut hair falling into his azure eyes. Even Rinoa had to admit that he looked quite impressive in that SeeD uniform; just like the first night they danced together under the stars.  
  
Rinoa herself had one arm looped around his, smiling brightly with her eyes closed and her face creased in happiness. Quistis had convinced her to buy a dark red, strapless dress with a gold chain-link belt draping down the front, something she would always be angry about. The Sorceress thought that she looked positively fat in that thing, and couldn't believe it when Laguna called her 'the best looking woman there'.  
  
Quistis had donned a formal black evening gown, draping down to the floor with long gloves up to her elbows. Of course, formal newly-again-appointed Instructor Quistis Trepe, her dress not breaking any standardization rules and always bearing something to cover her fingerprints if need be. That was a typical SeeD. Selphie, however, had gone all-out in a vibrant green dress, the hem an inch above her knees and a gauzy shawl a shade lighter than the actual dress wrapped tightly around her arms. Irvine was clutching at her arm, clad in his usual cowboy garb, while Zell had one fist in the air and the other clapped on Squall's shoulder. The martial artist had taken the more modest approach of his SeeD uniform. Even Laguna was in the picture, the old jacket that Raine had given him draped over his baggy teal shirt that he had recently taken to wearing. His military dogtags shined in the bright lights of the ballroom, black hair loosed from its usual hold.  
  
The picture was all together spectacular - or at least it was on the first couple nights that she had held the copy within the pads of her fingers. But now it was only a painful reminder of what she had left behind - who she had left behind.  
  
Rinoa brushed the tears on her cheeks away roughly, swallowing hard and jamming the picture back into the desk drawer. However, she couldn't stay like that for long. Within two minutes, she had started sobbing again, having fallen backwards onto the bed. She curled into a tight ball on the sheets, trying not to remember everything that was trying desperately to break out.  
  
~  
  
"How are you doing?"  
  
The soft voice and firm hand on his shoulder eased the Commander out of the temporary shock that he had felt after hearing footsteps in the room. He let out a ragged breath and turned around slightly to face Quistis, who had dragged a chair over to the bed.  
  
"No better than Zell or anyone else is," He muttered darkly, tossing his pen back onto the exam that he had been grading. He noticed Quistis glancing around the room, taking in everything from the spotless appearance to the framed picture hanging on a tilt over the desk, a heavy medal weighing it down on the single nail. She took off her glasses, rubbing them absently on the skirt of her uniform.  
  
"Selphie's been treating Irvine like some sort of king since the incident with you three, and I can't say he's not enjoying it," The Instructor said, laughing lightly. The red numbers on the clock had turned to reveal the present time: 12:45 p.m. Technically, Quistis had broken curfew, but few Instructors were concerned with that rule, especially ones who had helped to save the world.  
  
"You call it an incident; I call it a one-way ticket to the mental asylum. I'm going crazy in here! If I don't get out of here soon, I'm going to go out of my mind," He groaned, putting his head in his hands. The comforter wrinkled as he drew his legs up to his chest, grinding his teeth angrily.  
  
"Dr. Kadowaki's orders, Squall. You know nobody can talk that woman out of anything," Quistis said, smiling slightly. "Besides, you three did attack a T-Rexaur unarmed." She put specific stress on 'unarmed', intent to get the point across to at least one of the trio, as the other two had failed to comprehend what she was getting at.  
  
"We weren't completely unarmed; don't give me that," Squall spat, glaring up at her.  
  
"You had no GFs and no magic junctioned," The blonde said seriously, staring hard at him.  
  
"Zell just wanted to test out My Final Heaven, and so we decided to head into the Training Center. Is it our fault that a T-Rexaur was the first monster we came across?" The Commander asked harshly, rolling his eyes.  
  
"You could have escaped, you know," Quistis said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Squall merely 'tutted' loudly and flipped onto his side, facing the wall. "Well, get used to it - it's only been three days, Mr. Leonhart. You have at least another week before Kadowaki lets you get back to your regular duties, and even then she might find something else wrong with you. Do care to remember as well that the three of you can hardly stand," She added before standing and exiting the room.  
  
He wasn't tired. He hadn't been tired all day, and he hardly felt like he needed to stay in this cage of a room - until he stood. Then he collapsed and waited a few hours for someone to come in and make sure he was still there to get him upright. That happened four times on the first day. Four times! Ear against the coarse carpet, legs unmoving, muscles unwilling. It had been like the day when they had walked rather stupidly in and attacked the T-Rexaur without anything junctioned - stupid, stupid, stupid. Lucky that Zell had notified his pig-tailed library girlfriend to bring him a hotdog in the Training Center, or they probably would have bled so much that the once-green grass would have been a vibrant shade of red.  
  
Squall shook his head; he didn't feel like reliving that day. Its rank in the 'Worst Experiences with Pain' chart had to be up at the top somewhere with that ice javelin courtesy of Edea and Seifer's electrocution therapy. The heat was going to drive him insane; even in the dead of night it was stifling. He grabbed the comforter in his fists and tossed it off the bed, rolling onto his back and urging sleep to come to him. After another hour of suffering, he did the only logical thing that would comfort him at this moment:  
  
Raising his heavy hand, he closed his eyes and muttered what he so longed for: "Sleep."  
  
~  
  
"Rinoa! Hyne girl, how have you been?" The SeeD shouted happily into the phone, leaping up at her desk.  
  
"Fine Xu, how are you?" Rinoa's voice was somber and she smiled only slightly, holding the phone delicately in her hands.  
  
"Agh, same as usual. What else besides typing up and delivering mission briefings? Listen, are you doing okay? Squall was really upset the morning you -" Rinoa abruptly cut her off, not keen on revisiting the morning that she had left them.  
  
"Let's not go there, please. I was just wondering . . . could I come home and visit you guys for a couple of days? I swear I'm losing my mind out here; too much snow for me! I grew up in Galbadia for Hyne's sake; how do they expect me to survive?" Xu laughed openly, wiping her eyes.  
  
"Sure, of course! Stay out here for as long as you want, you know Garden'll always be your home, Rin. Well, train tickets? Want me to wire them to you?" Rinoa shook her head, even though the SeeD on the other end couldn't see.  
  
"Nah, I've got a couple already. Umm . . . Xu? I'm sorta . . . in the Balamb train station right now. I . . . was a little anxious," She confessed, twirling a lock of hair uncertainly. There was a short pause, and then a burst of laughter.  
  
"Well, I wasn't expecting that! Do you want me to send anyone out to get you? I would kill myself if I made you rent a car for three thousand Gil when I could send you a guy for free," Xu said, shaking her head slightly.  
  
"Sure, that would be great. But, Xu?" She asked hesitantly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Don't tell anyone. I wanna surprise them, alright?"  
  
"Sure! Don't worry, Rinoa; I'll take care of everything."  
  
~  
  
Don't worry, more next chapter. I'll have brief memories of what happened to make her leave sponged in randomly, so don't worry about the lack of plot right now. Expect another chapter soon ;)  
  
Review Button: I am so sad . . . no one has clicked me in the longest time . . . make me happeh, pwease? ;_; 


	2. Chapter Two: The Custodial Arts

---Disclaimer: Everything is © Square.  
  
~  
  
"So . . . the angel returns."  
  
Seifer Almasy's voice rumbled deep in his throat, a sardonic grin crossing his face wickedly as he leaned heavily on the mop that he was supposed to be wielding. He had seen her as the Garden gates flew open to admit her, bags clutched tightly in her hands as she bustled in, looking around with bright eyes and mouthing the word that he had used so lightly on this place:  
  
Home.  
  
For her, it was a true home because she had people here who would care for her if she was dying and couldn't be helped. She had friends who would be there for her until the day that she died, and even after then - people who would give their life for hers, people who would risk everything they had for a single emotion coursing through their body. People who would leap out in space just to revive a dying Sorceress and possibly not even save her at all. People like Quistis, people like Selphie, people like Zell - people like Squall.  
  
However, Seifer had nobody. Nobody here would even blink an eye if he died from the noxious fumes that he was scrubbing across the shining, tiled fumes. He would be another dead SeeD, another life taken for a cause that wasn't worth it. And the thing was that he wasn't even a true SeeD - as of now, he was a cadet, completing public service to gain a spot on the field exam register. He only had one week left, and his attitude had improved greatly, all things considered . . . yet every now and then, he couldn't help but voice a snide remark.  
  
He cursed blackly as Quistis wrapped her arms around Rinoa's back, followed by a huge glomp courtesy of Selphie and the formal SeeD salute of Xu. Both Irvine and Zell gave her a polite kiss on the cheek, although Irvine's was quite extended, earning him a kick in the shin from Selphie. Nida had snatched up the young Sorceress' bags and was motioning with his head towards the guest dormitories, but Rinoa quickly insisted that she see Squall first.  
  
"I . . . need to patch up some open wounds," She said uncomfortably, somehow managing a small smile. Quistis looked at her concernedly, but Xu nodded, handing her an officer's keycard, which could gain entrance to any of Garden's resident's dormitories, even other officials. Rinoa thanked the brunette, taking it and tucking it into one arm warmer and hurrying off.  
  
The blonde snarled, spitting after her and turning around, continuing to push his ragged mop across the floors. The quick click of heels signaled the presence of the most unwanted body -  
  
"Seifer, please clean that up," Quistis said calmly, folding her arms in traditional SeeD fashion. He grumbled something before turning the mop quickly, maneuvering it over to where his saliva splattered the tiles and scrubbing it firmly.  
  
"Satisfied, Ice Queen?" He scowled, waving his arms out to the side. Quistis smiled smugly.  
  
"Quite," She said firmly, walking away with a sheer note of confidence in her overly-high boots.  
  
~  
  
The card slipped through the lock quickly, and the familiar click echoed in the near-empty hallways as Rinoa exhaled; the door had granted her permission to enter the Commander's dormitory. Stupid little machine-driven piece of plastic . . . to think that something that insignificant could stand between two people destined for each other. She scowled at it, shoving it back nonchalantly into her arm warmer and creaking the door open slightly, peering inside.  
  
It was nearly completely dark, if not for the small desk lamp still being on. A stack of papers sat on the blotter on the desk, a few pens next to them and a hump of manila folders beside the pens. She sighed, shaking her head; he never did stop working.  
  
Stepping cautiously into the room, she nearly tripped over something. Bending down quietly, she picked it up, closing her eyes and holding the leather jacket close to her chest. Six months felt like such an eternity at that particular moment, caressing the war-torn jacket and smoothing the fur on the collar back. Her fingers ran over dried blood, accustomed now to the shape of the jacket, and rips and shreds that could only have come from the stress-brewing Ultimecia plot. Cautiously placing the jacket back onto the floor, she stood back to her full height, walking gently over to the bed and cocking her head at an angle that the light could easily show his features.  
  
He was little changed, not that she expected anything less. The same scar ran diagonally between his eyes, closed softly, although his chest rose and fell with the pattern of deep sleep. His chestnut hair dangled over his closed eyes, more unruly than ever. The comforter was lying in a heap on the floor at the foot of the bed, showing that he had fallen asleep in his heavy pants and white T-shirt. Griever was tangled tightly around his neck, making Rinoa choke slightly; she slithered her fingers under the links, gently undoing the clasp and sliding the cool metal off of his skin and dropping it into a metallic puddle on the desk.  
  
Gingerly placing her weight on the bed, she reached up, smoothing the hair back from his cool face. The heat had fled for the night, and he looked right now the same as after time compression when she found him, and she couldn't help but smile softly; at least she hadn't woken him up yet.  
  
She let her eyes wander the room, something else that was little-changed. However, she noticed the framed picture hanging over the desk; crooked, of course. Squall never was much of a handyman, even if he was the cleanest man the world ever saw. Her eyes seemed glossed as she examined the fine features of the photo: his thread-bear smile, her deep red dress, Laguna's smiling eyes, Selphie's overuse of green . . . everything about that day was perfect. Then, of course, she had ruined it.  
  
| "I can't do this anymore . . . I just can't. Please, Squall, don't be angry with me."  
  
He stared at her, disbelieving.  
  
"You said you . . . you said you loved me. I thought you meant it. Hyne Rinoa, don't pull an Ellone on me!" He groaned, running a hand down his face. His eyes truly held panic, and they darted to and fro from her own sad, brown orbs to the bags she held in her hands.  
  
"I can't be the butt of everyone's suspicions. I don't want to leave you, honestly Squall! But I won't be subject to this anymore; get them to calm down, and maybe I'll come back. But remember, it's not because of you. I just need . . . a little air. Some room to grow." She had tried to get her words to sound as least harmful as possible, although she failed miserably.  
  
"You're the only one I ever . . . Hyne, I went into space for you Rinoa, and you're leaving me now?" He asked, his mouth dry. His lips could hardly form the words, let alone could he get his will to force them out of his throat.  
  
"You don't understand . . ." She moaned, feeling the tears flow.|  
  
Suddenly, she wondered if they ever had put up that mosaic of the photograph in the Quad. Gently rising from the bed, she brushed her hands one last time through the Commander's hair, clicking off the light quietly and crossing the room in two strides.  
  
Her swift feet led her down the passages of Garden as if she had been living there her whole life. It truly was her only real 'home'; Caraway's mansion had barely qualified for 'house'. The sign for the Quad loomed up ahead, and she broke out into a sprint, anxious to see if the would-be memorial was there. But when she got there, she was blown away.  
  
The mosaic was up, and it was beautiful. It adorned a whole wall, a smart- looking silver plaque underneath reading off the names and the event.  
  
[Left to right: Instructor Quistis Trepe, Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly, Commander Squall Leonhart, Selphie Timlitt-Kinneas, Zell Dincht, Irvine Kinneas, and President Laguna Loire celebrate the victory against the Sorceress Ultimecia and the ceasing of time compression.]  
  
Everything was there. Everything; it was like a monument to those who fought even though none died. Rinoa was taken aback that Squall had plucked the Lionheart chain off of the hilt of his Gunblade and dedicated it to the exhibit, and it sat happily on a plush cushion behind a glass sheet. Irvine had gladly dedicated a small box of Exeter ammo to the display, and Selphie's contribution was a tie from Adel's long, red hair. Quistis had somehow managed to snag a cutting of a portrait from Ultimecia's castle, and Zell had given a real live hotdog from Ultimecia's realm; how he had found one, none ever knew.  
  
A wave of guilt rose in the pit of Rinoa's stomach as she realized that there was nothing in the glass tank under the mosaic that had a silver plaque above it with her name on it. Her hand instinctively flew to the two rings around her neck; she closed her eyes softly, trying to block out anything but thoughts of what she could give to the display.  
  
"You didn't wake him up, I take it?" Seifer's malicious voice rang in her ear, and her eyes snapped open, now a vibrant shade of violet. Her hand snapped out and she abruptly shouted a spell inaudible to Seifer, but he was thrown back against the far wall of the Quad and lay there, gasping and clutching his chest. She had struck him with Flare, the first spell she realized she had on her.  
  
"Don't get near me, you slime," She said savagely, pointing a threatening finger at him. "And even before that, don't you dare talk about Squall." He held up his hands in defense, feigning a look of repentance.  
  
"Sorry, sorry, didn't realize it was such a sensitive subject. Anyway, I wouldn't suggest doing it in the first place." He pushed himself casually to his feet, dragging up his mop and leaning on it for support. Suspicion flickered into Rinoa's eyes.  
  
"W-what do you mean?" She asked hesitantly, surveying his form. He had changed little as well: same ragged trench coat, same military cut, blonde hair, same silver chain around his neck, same smug smile.  
  
"I mean that he hasn't been doin' to well lately. Ran out and randomly attacked a T-Rexaur; they got the crap beat out of them, Commander Puberty, Chicken-wuss and the girly boy with the ponytail," He said nonchalantly, waving it off as he dunked the mop into the pocket of sterilized water and slopping it over the already-clean floor. Inside he was smirking; depriving her of information was the best way of torture for this little angel.  
  
"Is he okay?" She breathed, taking a cautious step closer to him. He blew some air out between his teeth, waving his hand dismissively and rolling his eyes. The mop staggered across the floor, slapping on the tiles of the Quad.  
  
"Well, you saw it for yourself, didn't you? He's alive, right?" He asked, starting to get annoyed by her over-protectiveness. It bothered him that Squall had somebody who cared about every step he took, and he had nothing but a mop.  
  
"You're no help. Just get back to the janitorial work, Seifer," Rinoa spat, hurrying back up the stairs.  
  
~  
  
"Stop doing that to yourself!"  
  
The low voice was barely enough to penetrate the thick mess of thoughts and words that was his brain. It was so clogged that he could barely figure out how he managed to breathe, let alone sleep the way he did. Then again, it might have been the Sleep spell in the first place that made his brain the jumbled concoction that it was. He tried to open his eyes, only to find that the after-effects of the spell were taking their toll, and fatigue still plagued him.  
  
He heard an angry sigh, and then, louder, "Firaga!"  
  
His eyes snapped open immediately and he clutched his chest in pain, rising into a sitting position although doubled-over. Dr. Kadowaki was standing next to the bed and looking at him reprovingly, but handed him a Hi-Potion all the same.  
  
"I'm serious, Squall. You have to stop putting yourself to sleep with those spells; they're extremely dangerous. If you had too much power on you one day, you might cast yourself into sleep that you would never wake up from," She lectured, then sat down in his desk chair and pulled up a clipboard. "Drink that."  
  
He glanced unappetizingly to the potion in his hands and back to the stern doctor in the chair. He decided that the latter was worse, then dumped the whole potion down his throat at once and felt his eye twitching from the horrible taste.  
  
"What do you want?" He asked in a no-tone voice, sitting up straight. Peering closely at his clock, he managed to decipher that it was four in the morning. "I really didn't sleep that long, you know," He added, motioning with his hand.  
  
"Squall, you've been sleeping for nearly a day. You cast that spell on yourself yesterday, and people were starting to get worried when you didn't start kicking and screaming to be let out," Kadowaki said, setting down the chart. "However, I want to talk to you about more than your overuse of magic. Commander, sir . . . Rinoa's back."  
  
The expression on his face was literally unreadable, and she thought that he had gone into shock. However, he managed to blink a couple of times, shaking his head and trying to comprehend what he heard.  
  
"Wh-what?" He managed to choke out, his throat gone dry.  
  
". . . She's coming here, to your room, in a few minutes to 'mend open wounds', whatever that means. I'll leave you two to it." The doctor nodded solemnly to him, pressing the button on his door to open it. "And no more sleep spells! Come get me if you can't fall asleep!"  
  
"How am I supposed to come and get you if I'm not allowed out of this condemned room?" He shouted after her, thoroughly enraged on the subject.  
  
He was lying on his back for a while, eyes set angrily and arms folded tight across his chest when he decided that it was pointless to sleep for another two hours. He sat up stiffly, feeling blindly in the dark for side of the desk, which he used to pull himself to his feet. His legs were like unstable beneath him, but he felt that if he stayed in that bed for much longer he was going to explode. Collapsing would be worth it if he made it out the door.  
  
Pride showed clearly on his face as he managed to get his legs working smoothly, and soon Squall was taking deep strides down the hall. He wasn't headed anywhere in particular, just wanted to get out and see somebody. He knew that Zell wouldn't prefer any visitors, and he supposed that Irvine had all the visitors he could take, and more; the Commander didn't feel like intruding on one of the cowboy's 'sessions'.  
  
Somehow he ended up at the Quad, deserted - perfect. He dropped down on a bench, gripping his knees and staring at the opposite wall. The mosaic greeted him, looking the same way it did the day the Garden Festival Committee finished it; Squall pitied the person who was paid to keep the shine on that thing, as it never lost its sheen. He found that he had lost himself in the fine features of it, how well it had been put together, not missing a single detail. Someone had put a great deal of effort into that blasted thing . . .  
  
He didn't realize how tired he was until he was practically asleep, deaf to the gentle clip of heels along the tiled floor. Even when Rinoa came down the last few steps, she didn't notice him at first; his still position would have evaded even the most careful eyes. She didn't understand what she sought down here, when not a single person seemed to be there. Until she noticed him.  
  
She didn't realize that she had let out a sort of frightened yelp when she noticed his form, stepping back a pace and uncertain at what to do. Even if her heels had managed to slip past him, her voice couldn't - he had heard it far too many times, both real and unreal, in his room and in his mind, not to have his head snap up and his eyes focus suddenly.  
  
"Rinoa?" He said automatically, just as he had all of the times when he thought he heard her, hoping to hear a reply. The Sorceress groaned, sinking to the ground and holding her knees.  
  
"Hello, Squall."  
  
~  
  
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED ME! YOU ALL ARE GREAT!  
  
My internet was down this morning, so I had this complete shock when I came home and saw that it said fourteen reviews. That never happens to me, because I can't write - I never have that much great input in just ONE CHAPTER. That's why I'm thanking everyone - you made my day!  
  
Next chapter's all memory. Total, complete flashback; I was too lazy to do it in this chapter. I shall have to kick my lazy butt into action. 


	3. Chapter Three: Cry For Me

---Disclaimer: Everything is © Square  
  
~  
  
"Hey! Look, they finally showed up!" Someone shouted from the back of the ballroom, bouncing on the balls of their feet and pointing over the sea of heads. Edea's head snapped up immediately, and she nudged Cid hard in the ribs, hissing at him. His head popped up and he grinned apologetically at his wife before setting down his glass of champagne and started clapping as the 'heroes', as the people at Garden liked to refer to them now, filed in one by one.  
  
Selphie came in first, waving ecstatically to the crowd and practically screaming with her joy. She had never had that much attention before, and the impact of so much at once was overwhelming to the Trabian. She was followed at a large gap by Irvine, who was blowing kisses behind his fiancée's back to a few young SeeDs who held out their hands to him. Zell came through the door next, head high and his fists clenched. He, like Selphie, was enjoying the attention a little too much. Quistis pursued him in a typical Instructor fashion, hands folded neatly over her stomach and a pleasant, yet slightly smug, smile on her face. Her credentials had been restored earlier that day, and her mood seemed to be lifting by the moment. Rinoa bounded after her, smiling broadly and tugging Squall in beside her. He seemed as unwilling as he had been the night of the SeeD graduation, but they entered to a swell of applause and cheers, painting the Sorceress' face red and making Squall turn his head away in embarrassment.  
  
The press was there, of course. They had started snapping occasionally when Selphie stepped into the room, but a huge mass of clicking and flashing lights ensued when Rinoa and Squall entered. The young woman was trying desperately to avoid them, using her unwilling boyfriend as a sort of human shield, positioning herself so that they couldn't get a clear shot of her. Although Zell and Irvine were threatening them with raised fists and a cocked Exeter, they, like all forms of the press, were unrelenting. Cid finally sent for security and had them removed, to everyone's great comfort.  
  
"Hyne, they scare me outta my pants," Selphie whispered, seating herself next to Irvine. He had been smiling gallantly at two SeeDs across the room, but presently snapped back to attention when she plunked down next to him. He put his arm pleasurably across her shoulders, leaning back and sighing contentedly.  
  
"I like it; this world needs more of my face on their papers," He said in a dreamy voice, and Selphie elbowed him in the stomach, making him double over.  
  
"I don't like them either, Selph. They've been hanging around since we ended time compression," Rinoa said in an equally low voice, tugging her napkin over her legs. Zell yawned, leaning back in his chair and stretching his arms.  
  
"Listen, I'm not sitting down for this long. This is a celebration, not a sit-down dinner. Anyone else 'sides me gonna get up and dance?" He asked, winking at Squall. He shrugged, turning his head away. When no one responded, he shrugged lightly, standing and going over to his pigtailed admirer. The words couldn't be understood, only the tone of the voices, but it seemed as if she were ecstatic about the fact that he had asked her, and she immediately yanked him onto the dance floor, taking up where the other couples were.  
  
"Personally, this champagne looks fine by me," Selphie said, already downing her third glass. She stole Irvine's, tipping it down her throat and standing to get more.  
  
". . . Better go make sure she doesn't hurt herself," He said, grinning and hurrying after her. Vaguely, they heard him shout, "Sefie, wait!"  
  
"Well, c'mon, Squall. I'm not letting you leave like that again; you're not getting away from here without a dance," Rinoa said, playfully running a hand through his hair. He flattened it down self-consciously, staring at the rather intricate stitching in the plain white tablecloth.  
  
"Rinoa, I don't . . ." He began, looking up at her. Then he sighed; her eyes had caught him abruptly off-guard. "Fine. Just for you, but just one. No more than one, and make it short," He grumbled, scraping back his chair reluctantly. Rinoa leaped up, clapping her hands and grabbing his wrist, mimicking the first time she had ever seen him and dragging him onto the dance floor. He gingerly placed his hands on her waist, and she took one of his, swaying back and forth to the music.  
  
"You're going to like me, you're going to like me, you're going to like me . . ." She teased, grinning. He rolled his eyes, trying to act as if it didn't bother him. "You'll like me yet, you'll see," She told him, spinning slightly as she avoided colliding with another couple. "Now, none of that this time."  
  
"I'll try, Goddess of All Dancers," He murmured, staring at his feet. She shook his arm, successfully catching his attention.  
  
"Don't look down there. It'll make you do worse," She instructed wisely, and he nodded, taking it seriously. She groaned. "Look, don't take this all so Commander-ish. Have a little fun tonight, Squall. You really deserve it; we all do."  
  
He merely looked down at his feet again, finding that her advice didn't work in the slightest. They danced silently; better than before but occasionally exchanging a glance or two. Well, she had worked in one aspect: he did like her, he did like her, he did like her. A lot. Yet it still didn't change his discomfort at touching another person, or speaking in public. That was her one flaw, yet she persisted in trying to bring that side of him out, a side that he didn't want to show.  
  
I hate that side of me . . .  
  
"Squall?" He glanced up at her, and she smiled slightly at him. "Don't do that to me; don't go off into your own little world. You worry me then."  
  
"And I don't worry you normally? I'm shocked, Ms. Heartilly," He said, cracking a smile for the first time that evening.  
  
"I -"  
  
"LOOK WHAT CAME!!" Selphie had bounded into the ballroom, waving around two large plastic bags. She already had Irvine's hat perched on her head, and her cheery yellow dress was hanging over her arm.  
  
"I didn't even realize she was gone," Zell muttered to Squall as he came up beside he and Rinoa, arms linked with the library girl.  
  
"Shut up, Zelly. I got yer clothers 'ere! Laundry lady gave 'em back t' me." Selphie had jogged over to Zell, her gauzy green shawl tied in a large not around her waist and no longer looking elegant. Her skirt was hitched up and tied at least five inches more up her legs. Slamming a ball of what would be clothes into the martial artist's arms, she moved over to Rinoa, digging through the bag.  
  
"Awesome!" Zell said, yanking apart the clingy fabric.  
  
"Here ya go, Rinny!" Selphie said proudly, jamming the Sorceress' own bundle of clothes into her arms. It took only a moment to find Squall's ninety-nine percent leather ensemble and shove it into his arms.  
  
"Irvy's already wearin' his, and Quisty's diggin' through the other bag looking fer hers. C'mon, let's all get changed!" The brunette chirped, hugging her dress to her chest.  
  
"I think she's a little drunk . . ." Squall muttered to Zell, eyeing Selphie as she tried to yank on her typical wear over her green dress.  
  
"What do you mean 'a little?'" Zell responded, looking as if he wanted to be as far from her as humanely possible.  
  
"No, you all look so stunning tonight. We should take a picture before you all change into your comfort clothes," Edea said in a misty voice, making all five of them jump. Cid was clinging to her arm, and Laguna had come up beside them, hands in his pockets. Squall looked slightly taken aback as he saw his father come into view: for one, he wasn't expecting him to be there at all. Second, he was dressed like he was every other day, loose clothes hanging off of his shoulders and hair tugged back into a short ponytail. However, he had an indigo jacket yanked over his faded teal shirt as well. Squall immediately recognized the large silver disks on either shoulder and the raised threads, and didn't need telling twice that Laguna needed a bit of Raine with him that evening.  
  
"Uh . . . okay," Squall said uncertainly, glancing around for Quistis. As if reading his thoughts, the Instructor clipped over to them, Irvine in tow. He grabbed his hat off of Selphie's head, setting it on an angle over his own messy auburn hair.  
  
"Well, come here; get out of the way . . ."  
  
Once Edea had gotten them all in a suitable position with their clothes pulled in the right arrangements, she smiled happily, moving to stand next to the library girl. Cid was fumbling with the camera, and it took him nearly twenty minutes to find out how to take a picture. After a few practice shots (to him they had been real; however, they had all been of either someone's feet or their ear) he positioned himself to get them all into the screen, and snapped the button, grinning proudly.  
  
"Very good, dear," Edea said, chuckling slightly.  
  
~  
  
"I can't do this anymore . . . I just can't. Please, Squall, don't be angry with me."  
  
The dim glow of starlight falling through the tall windows of the ballroom illuminated the two people standing at one end, two large and bumpy objects clutched in the slimmer one's hands. A piece of paper was lying at the taller one's feet, feminine script crawling across it.  
  
He stared at her, disbelieving.  
  
"You said you . . . you said you loved me. Remember, after the ball that night, after the picture? When you kissed me? I thought you meant it. Hyne Rinoa, don't pull an Ellone on me!" He groaned, running a hand down his face. His eyes truly held panic, and they darted to and fro from her own sad, brown orbs to the bags she held in her hands.  
  
"I can't be the butt of everyone's suspicions. I don't want to leave you, honestly Squall! But I won't be subject to this anymore; get them to calm down, and maybe I'll come back. But remember, it's not because of you. I just need . . . a little air. Some room to grow. You heard those girls today; I'm so sick of this." She had tried to get her words to sound as least harmful as possible, although she failed miserably.  
  
"You're the only one I ever . . . Hyne, I went into space for you Rinoa, and you're leaving me now?" He asked, his mouth dry. His lips could hardly form the words, let alone could he get his will to force them out of his throat.  
  
"You don't understand . . ." She moaned, feeling the tears flow. But he cut her off sharply, his eyes turning to blue steel.  
  
"I thought that you were stronger than that, Rinoa. Just because a few people start gossiping, or say something about you, you're just going to give up on this? I thought this relationship, this bond, meant so much more to you than petty rumors. I guess it wasn't that important to you after all." He stood, folding his arms and turning around. His back was now to her, and she was glad; her bags fell, and she buried her face in her hands, feeling the tears surging from behind her eyes.  
  
"I . . ." She knew it wouldn't help anything; she had hurt him. And to what a hurt would be like to a normal person, it was multiplied tenfold on Squall's emotions.  
  
"You know, if you were going to end up leaving me anyway, you should've left me in time compression. Now it's not worth trying anymore."  
  
Rinoa could barely hear the dull thud of his boots across the wooden floor as he exited the ballroom, and didn't want to hear it anyway. She sank to the ground, head in her hands, glossy black hair falling across her face and sticking to her cheeks, her own tears acting like glue. So now all of their had work meant nothing after all - she would never have accepted Laguna's plea of her taking Ultimecia's powers if she didn't know that Squall would be by her side; she never would have endured being junctioned to Adel if she didn't know that Squall was going to save her.  
  
Now nothing was worth the price they all paid.  
  
~  
  
Once again: thank you to everyone who's reading this! I really appreciate all of the great feedback I've received so far, and I look forward to more!  
  
Hope this chapter cleared up a few things. If I didn't expand on it enough, with her leaving and the press and everything, mention it and I'll put in another flashback. This chapter was really angsty . . . it wasn't planned that way, but I don't think it's all that bad ^^ 


	4. Chapter Four: Addleheaded

---Disclaimer: Everything is © Square.  
  
---Author's Note: Yes, for me, this chapter has been a little delayed. I had to attend a ceremony for my brother, who was graduating Boys' State, as well as go to a party for my soccer team and stay over at my friend's house (got to watch 'The Matrix', 'Tomb Raider', 'Final Destination', and 'Catch Me if You Can'). Also, I'm a ninth of the way through 'The Order of the Phoenix', so I'm sure that had something to do with the delay. This chapter was written during the ceremony, so it might be a little odd and jumpy at times. Thanks for waiting patiently.  
  
~  
  
"Hello, Squall."  
  
He shook his head, unable to believe what he was seeing. Just the mere thought of her sent shivers racing up his spine; having her in the same room with him again was overwhelming. He passed a hand quickly over his eyes, determined to make the vision pass. She had haunted him for too many weeks to get her claws into his brain again.  
  
"Wake up," He told himself firmly, jamming his eyes closed. Rinoa's mouth opened slightly as she watched him; his actions suggested that he thought that he was dreaming, or something.  
  
"Squall -" She began, but he quickly cut her off, digging his nails into his palms.  
  
"Stop it, just wake up!" He told himself softly through gritted teeth. Suddenly it hit her that this must have happened to him a lot, and immediately she felt a familiar prick in the corner of her eyes. She almost didn't feel her legs moving as she ran over to him, soft hands enclosing his bare wrist.  
  
"Squall, I'm real! Look at me," She pleaded, shaking him. He stopped his mantra, and, a second later, slowly opened his eyes. He took a deep, steadying breath and stared at her, long and hard, before he spoke.  
  
"Kadowaki was right then." He paused, releasing one of his hands from her grip and passing it over his eyes again. "Hyne Rinoa . . . why did you come back?" He said hoarsely, looking at her for the first time in the eyes.  
  
She swallowed under his intense blue glare. Although his eyes held not the dominance that Quistis' blazing cobalt optics held, they were unmistakably unavoidable, and seemed to pierce her soul.  
  
"I love you, Squall. You didn't think I'd forgotten that, did you?" she asked, her voice small.  
  
"You never called or sent us anything," He said pointedly, and his gaze came close to a glare. Rinoa sighed, defeated.  
  
"There's no excuse for that. I admit it, I just didn't want give you - or anyone else for that matter - false hope. Please forgive me," She said quietly, looking up at him with sad eyes. He groaned, missing her more that she was so close to him. Gently and slowly, so unlike him, he bent down and wrapped his arms around the petite Sorceress, sliding off of the bench and rubbing her back in smooth, slow circles. He could almost feel her tears seeping into his white cotton shirt, her arm draped over his should just as it had been when he saved her from the Sorceress Memorial.  
  
". . . Why did you leave if you were going to come back?" He managed to ask.  
  
"Becausessss . . ." An all too familiar voice hissed into his shoulder, and he pushed the girl in light-blue back from him, recoiling in horror at the face the he beheld: jagged lines, demonic eyes, ragged, singed hair and a cruel, twisted expression. Ultimecia's hand shot out, encircling his wrist and drawing him in. No matter what he did, what strength he had, he couldn't fight her. Finally, he did the only thing that his brain was willing to command -  
  
Scream.  
  
~  
  
"Squall! Hyne Squall, wake up!"  
  
His azure eyes snapped open, and he found himself face-to-face with Quistis, whose blonde hair glowed loose and free like the new dawn and blazing eyes shone with concern. He realized belatedly that he was sweating like a pig, his white shirt plastered to his chest and uncomfortable. Pushing a hand across his brow, he tried desperately to recall what he had been doing to have fallen asleep in the Quad.  
  
"Are you . . . okay?" Quistis asked uncertainly, sitting down next to him and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Where's Rinoa?" He asked urgently, snatching up her wrist and squinting at the watch that was tight to her skin. His eyes widened as he saw the time.  
  
"In the Cafeteria, with Irvine and Selphie. She's the one that found you here, but didn't want to be the one to wake you, so she came and got me. Oh, and Kadowaki is letting you back into office today."  
  
He nodded absently. "I'm going . . . to get dressed," He murmured, gesturing to the faded cotton shirt and black shorts he was informally sporting. Quistis smiled, nodding and standing. As he watched her exit, she began to put her hair back into hits normal style, but he grabbed her wrist.  
  
"Don't. Its better that way."  
  
"Okay," She said, somewhat surprised.  
  
~  
  
"W-what am I going to say to him? I betrayed him - what more is there to be said?" Rinoa whispered, her brown eyes staring hard at Irvine and Selphie, begging for help. The Kinneas family stared at her solemnly.  
  
"You hurt him when you left. He would have supported you if you hadn't been for such a stupid reason. He thought that you would handle anything for him, not just leave because of a couple rumors. In all honesty, Rinoa, it really could have been worse on you, what with the given ammo and all," Irvine told her, uncharacteristically serious. His hotdogs remained untouched before him and Selphie alike. Rinoa had a half-frozen coffee in front of her that she had downed half of.  
  
"You hurt all of us, Rin," Selphie added, holding up a finger. The Sorceress nodded in understanding. "Are you . . . going to stay?" Mrs. Kinneas asked meekly, poking her rice. Rinoa shook her head, dark hair swaying around her ears.  
  
"Just for a week. I-I have an obligation to Trabia, you know," She said, adopting a matter-of-fact tone. Selphie's eyes narrowed.  
  
"You have an obligation to Squall first," She said angrily. "Just like he will always put you first, no matter what foolhardy things you do." Rinoa rubbed her temples and scraped back her chair. She couldn't stand this chastisement any longer.  
  
"I'll . . . see you around," She said before hurrying off. In her rush, she knocked into Seifer, throwing herself off balance and tumbling to the floor.  
  
"Watch it, princess." He spat the title, brushing the remnants of her touch from his filth-covered trench coat. The red cross of the Knight still gleamed as always.  
  
"Beat it, Seifer," She said venomously, and he rolled his eyes, running a thumb over Hyperion's hilt before going the opposite way from her.  
  
~  
  
A knock on the door further addled the Commander's thoughts, and he clenched his teeth, clutching the papers tight in his hand.  
  
"What?" He snarled irritably to the door, tossing the crumpled papers across the office. The door opened and Quistis entered.  
  
"Are you doing okay?" She asked quietly, clutching a manila folder in her hands.  
  
"I can't think, I can't concentrate," He muttered, clutching his head. "Whether it's the phone or the com, I keep getting interrupted, disturbed . . . would someone please nail a blasted 'Do Not Disturb' sign onto my door, for Hyne in Heaven!" Quistis grimaced at his current frustration. HE looked over at her, as if acknowledging her presence for the first time. "What?"  
  
"SeeD field exam rubrics. Cid said to have you grade them," She said briskly, stepping forward and tossing the folder lightly onto his desk.  
  
"Great. Another responsibility to top of my day of headaches and paranoia. All I need now is -" A chime on the com cut him off, and he growled low, snatching it and pounding on the button. "What?"  
  
"Commander sir -" (it was Xu's voice) "-Miss Heartilly requests an audience with you in the ballroom." He put his head in his hands, making his voice come out muffled.  
  
"Who should I bring?"  
  
"A private audience, sir. In twenty minutes time," Xu amended. He waved his hand dismissively; this was what he had been expecting all morning.  
  
"Fine." He switched off the intercom and collapsed into his chair. "I have a headache."  
  
"What else is new?" Quistis muttered, folding her arms and leaning against the doorpost. "Just get down there, talk to her - and I mean talk, Squall, not 'whatever' for every response - and take some pills. A headache's a headache, and pills'll put you out in a minute if you take them now." He nodded, not really comprehending the meaning but understanding the overall moral. He exited quietly, as always, and Quistis let out a long0held breath. Now that she did, she wished she hadn't.  
  
She had a headache too.  
  
~  
  
Yeah, I know, jumbled and distorted and lacking the long, detailed paragraphs I'm hated for. Ah well, at least I finally got it up, which is an improvement. You know how long that was? 11 pages on a seven-inch (width) notepad. Demonic. Hated it; I could barely read my own handwriting, let alone type it up. Ugh. I'm NEVER doing that again. x.x 


	5. Chapter Five: Drown My Sorrows

---Disclaimer: Everything is STILL, incredulously, © Square. Would you fancy that?  
  
~  
  
"Hyne, it's like deja-vu," Squall muttered as he stepped into the ballroom, boots thudding and echoing on the vacant dance floor.  
  
"I know," an all-too familiar, soft voice said quietly from a shadowy bench. Squall felt himself stiffen involuntarily; his brain was confused to the point that he was both loathing and needing Rinoa at the same time, like a battle to see which side would outlast the other. He quickly looked away from her, focusing his gaze out a window instead. He heard her sigh, and the soft click of her refined boots hit the wood, unlike the dull pounding of the rubber soles of his boots. Her duster swished slightly in the still air; even he, mostly uncaring to all things delicate, could hear the material swirling gently through the quiet.  
  
"What did you want to see me for?" He said, still avoiding her gaze and landing it instead on the fascinating wood grain in the floor. He rubbed one arm, trying to bring life back to it; it had numbed when he heard her voice. He could almost feel the vibrations in the air as she clasped her hands before her.  
  
"To apologize. I was really unfair to everyone here, and it wasn't right of me. I just . . . needed to get away. It doesn't bother the rest of you that much because you weren't gifted with these powers; it just sits on your shoulders like deteriorating weight. 'Of course, I'm SeeD, I'm a hero, I'm used to this.' Well, it's not like that for me, it's -" Squall cut her off by simply bringing his gaze sharply up to meet hers; her voice fell dead in her throat, and her own soft brown orbs held a look of subtle terror.  
  
"You're completely wrong; don't talk about things you don't understand!" He said angrily, sweeping his arm through the air. "Just because you weren't strong enough to handle a little bit of attention doesn't mean you can pull the pity act on me. No matter how deeply I care about you, I can't stand that you would try to wriggle out of it by using your Sorceress powers as an excuse. That doesn't make what you did, no matter how insignificant it is to others, more bearable to me, or Zell, or Quistis, or anyone else here. You're as much family as we are to each other, and in Garden, lame excuses like that just doesn't cut it." He seemed appalled that he had sunk so low as to use 'lame' in his own everyday speech, but that didn't erase the defiant look in his eyes. If anything could make them flare up more than something out to harm Rinoa, it was a stupid, unworthy technicality that could make a difference in the world.  
  
Rinoa was deathly silent for several minutes following his outburst, although he obstinately refused to lower his gaze from her. She had drawn her own eyes to the floor, rubbing her arm in the same way that he had been hardly three minutes before, one knee twitching nervously as if she was on the verge of running as far from Garden as possible.  
  
"I . . . I didn't, I mean, you . . . everyone here, they . . ." She seemed to have lost the ability to form complete sentences, and her throat kept clenching and unclenching, as if she were swallowing without stop. He noticed now the nervous trembling of each finger now, clutching convulsively at her arm; the skin around where she was gripping had turned white.  
  
She looked up at him desperately, as if assuming that he would swoop down and say, 'Oh, Rinny, it's okay, I don't mind that you ran off with a pathetic excuse and you've waltzed back trying to act like nothing's happened; c'mere, I wanna give you a hug.' However, she realized with a small, choked sob, Squall wasn't like that. In fact, she had no idea where the image came from; she didn't know anyone like that.  
  
"Edea . . . spoke to the headmaster of Trabia for me, and convinced him to let me stay another week here, so I'm not due back till next Friday. But . . . I think I'll go early," She said meekly, turning her eyes away from him again. She had let go of her arm and was now anxiously drawing a loose thread from her light-blue duster, pulling out the carefully knitted stitches that she would later regret as the light overcoat began to fall apart, literally, at the seams.  
  
"Fine," Squall said emotionlessly, turning around and folding his arms. When Rinoa half-lifted her eyes, all she could see was the back of his head, the fur ruff around his collar, and the overlapping belts around his waist.  
  
"Fine," She repeated in a watery voice, turning around. Now they stood, not two feet away from the other, back-to-back as if entering a duel. Squall noted dully that his headache had reached skull-splitting point. He ran a gloved hand through his hair, marching a few paces away from her. She didn't move, but merely let her steady trickle of customary tears leak from her eyes, hoping that, by some miracle, he would turn around and embrace her after he had saved her . . .  
  
She sank to the ground, sobbing openly as the heavy doors to the ballroom closed with a deafening, final sound, echoing loudly in the near-empty room as she lay on her side, clutching her legs and curled into a ball, feeling her emotions running out over her cheeks. He had been right; he usually was, anyway. Now nothing was really worth it, everything that she had fought for . . . lost in a waterfall of tears.  
  
~  
  
"Here," Quistis said automatically, as if the process of distributing pills were something she did on a regular basis. The blonde brushed a strand of sweaty hair out of her face before shoving two pills down her own throat and forcefully tipping half a glass of water down her throat. Squall had done the same, although he had tossed the pills into the water before he drank an entire cupful, something the Instructor had never managed to do after taking medicine. Xu had carefully placed each pill individually on the back of her tongue and took delicate, evenly-measured sips of water to wash them down her throat, and soon all three high officials had groaned in satisfaction, spread somehow over random pieces of furniture in Squall's office.  
  
The Commander, of course, had chosen his fairly oversized leather chair, scooting it back several inches to let his legs have full spread until his feet were rested firmly on the desktop, the rubber soles making marks on the distorted blotter. Quistis was stretched over the faded burgundy couch along one wall, squinting at her hand as if trying to discern a year-old cut from the rest of the bruises and wounds on her scarred hand. Xu had taken the two stiff-backed chairs that were seated conveniently before Squall's desk and plunked down into one, stretching her legs over the other. In fact, they looked unmistakably like the teenagers they were in this state; Quistis looked around nineteen (although the lines at the corners of her eyes could have suggested at least twenty-one, if not older) with her sweaty hair streaming everywhere and skirt not pressed neatly, but wrinkled and mashed in her unceremonious position. Squall had his hands behind his head and his eyes closed, giving him the impression of a true seventeen-year-old, if not sixteen; he always seemed to look younger when asleep, or at least in the position of asleep. Xu's eyes were open, yet they were crossed in the haze of heat that had seemed to befallen Garden, and her stringy hair rained down over her face and made her appear like a spoiled, rich child whose air conditioning had been punctured.  
  
They all sat like there for at least an hour, not moving a muscle, completely content to let the after-effects of their headache remedies sink in and lull them slowly into a heated sleep, and soon they were all dozing uncomfortably when a short knock on the door roused the closest one to wakefulness.  
  
"What?" Xu called irritably to the door, eyes still closed fast in a vain attempt to reclaim sleep.  
  
The door opened fully and a disgruntled looking SeeD stepped in, uniform askew and dark hair twisted up into a knot on the back of her head. She was holding a crisp, folded letter between her ring and middle finger, although a foot away from her body, as if it were a bomb or a poisonous snake.  
  
"Message," She said shortly, tossing the letter into Xu's lap and folding her arms impatiently, slanting her pose to accommodate the heat. The brunette impatiently slit the letter with a pin on her sleeve, shaking it open and reading it hurriedly. She groaned in a breathy way, as her mouth was quite dry, and tossed the message unconcerned onto the floor. Squall's eyelids fluttered but did not open; Quistis shifted effortlessly on the narrow couch.  
  
"Thanks, Rain," She said absently, waving for the SeeD to go and closing her eyes once more. Rain scoffed loudly and disappeared, slamming the door angrily behind her. Squall's eyes opened, and he stared at Xu blearily, his gaze betraying his thoughts. "Rinoa. Wants a car to take her to the train station tomorrow morning. You approve?" She said lazily, opening one eye to show the Commander that she was paying attention to his sleepy stare.  
  
He shook his head, closing his eyes again. "Make 'er walk," He slurred, effortlessly falling back asleep again. Xu followed suit, wriggling further into her makeshift bed.  
  
~  
  
"I'm sorry about what he said to you."  
  
The voice startled Rinoa out of her protective shell of tears, and she raised her head half-heartedly only to groan and thrust it back into her arms. Seifer was staring at her with an expression so alien to his face that it looked almost scary. His arms were hung loosely at his sides, his trench coat flung off in the sudden riot of heat.  
  
"But you know . . . he was right about a lot of things. You can't take it all in black and white, Rinoa; you have to face facts. You acted stupidly and it made an effect on him. Apologizing isn't gonna fix this."  
  
Apparently he took the Sorceress' silence to mean for him to continue, and, without invitation, he strode over to her huddled and disheveled form. Sinking slowly to his ankles beside her fetal-positioned body, he laid a soothing hand on her arm; not in the usual way he would have, but as a support, something equally foreign to his usual sneering nature.  
  
"You have to talk to him in another setting, I bet, or get someone to talk to him but with your words. Like Quistis or Zell; somebody he trusts. And at the moment, deary, you're on Squall Leonhart's deadbeat list." Rinoa sat up quickly and gave him a sharp glare, but he continued, undaunted. "You gotta ease him outta that, get him back into the state he was with you. I admit, he's been a lot more improved since my training days, but he's not nearly as open as he was when you were here. Just . . . slide him back into the way things were, and everything'll work out fine. Trust me," He added as an afterthought, gifting her a small yet sincere smile.  
  
Although still wary of the ex-Knight's motives, she sat up, allowing herself to fall against his shoulder and to suppress whatever disgust she had felt towards this formerly vile man as he wrapped one arm loosely around her waist. Even though he wasn't speaking anymore, she found that the silence was more comforting than his words; just the mere presence of another human that had contact with her was far more uplifting than a few sentimental speeches.  
  
And, for the first time in nearly a year, she felt a heated rush of gratitude towards Seifer Almasy.  
  
~  
  
Hopefully that chapter was better. Much better. Spent much more time on it, and half wasn't written in the dark, and it wasn't evilly confusing. Yay me!  
  
Review Button: No one is clicking me anymore, they think that I'm all happy now . . . nooo, more reviews, please please please! You make Ellyrianna soooo happy when you review; you like the story, don't you? *sniff* 


	6. Chapter Six: Memory

---Disclaimer: Strangely, nothing belongs to me, and Square has bought this brilliant idea.  
  
---Author's Note: Delayed chapter again x.x What can you expect with finishing the Order of the Phoenix in two days? And I thought it took me long to read Goblet of Fire, yet there have been those who've finished it in less than twenty-four hours, but how did they enjoy it? Hmmm . . .  
  
~  
  
"C'mon, you lazy bum!"  
  
"Rinoa, this is so stupid!"  
  
"Nightclubs were built for stupidity, Squall; stop being a wet blanket!"  
  
The streets of Deling were bright with streetlamps and shop lights, busses and cars rumbling down the street as always and people clogging the sidewalks. It was hard to discern one person from another since they were so tightly packed, like dogs in a kennel. However, Rinoa didn't take to being unnoticed, and merely by the person she was dragging along was raising stares as she dragged him through the crowd.  
  
They were far behind the four other SeeDs they had taken along with them, partially because Squall didn't know about the little excursion until an hour before they wanted to leave. He had adamantly refused to the point that Rinoa had to threaten him with his own Gunblade before he would start walking, however grudgingly. He had refused to leave the safety of Garden without Lionheart at his side, although the others chose to forgo their weapons and enjoy the night on the town.  
  
"You big meanie, you're not making this fun at all! Just give in to temptation and start walking properly so that we can catch them," Rinoa pleaded, her pale hand wrapped around Squall's wrist as she hauled him through the thick throngs of people.  
  
"Give in to what temptation, may I ask? I have no will to go to this stupid bar; I'm just doing it so that you won't skewer me while I'm asleep," He told her angrily, dragging his heels into a crack in the sidewalk. The Sorceress presently yanked him out and began pulling him harder.  
  
"If I kiss you, will you shut up and walk?" She asked breathlessly, stopping and turning to face him with an utter look of seriousness on her face.  
  
"No," He answered honestly. "I'll enjoy it, but it won't do anything to my attitude."  
  
"Well then, Commander, I suggest you pick up the pace and put a bounce in your step. It's one more block up, I'm sure you can handle it." She spun around again and continued towing the obstinate SeeD through the mob.  
  
"Rinoa, hurry up! There's one more table open, you gotta get in here quick!" Selphie shouted over the heads of people, hanging onto the doorpost of the club that the Sorceress had chosen.  
  
"All right!" She called back, giving Squall one last hearty tug before she dropped his wrist and scurried to get into the door. The Commander followed, bound by his promise to her, and entered the bar.  
  
There were neon lights everywhere, with people crowding around too-small tables and waitresses skinny enough to slide past the huge masses. If the street was busy, the club was mobbed; there was only one table left, and Zell appeared to be fighting with two other occupants who wanted to use a chair.  
  
"I told you, we got friends coming! So beat it, teenage punks," He said forcefully, brandishing a fist at one of them (which on closer inspection turned out to be a purple-haired woman).  
  
"You're a teenager too," her friend said pointedly, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Yeah? Well, we're SeeD, so we got a right to this table!" Quistis rummaged around in her pocket and found her SeeD identification, which she shoved under the purple-haired teenager's nose and placed her hands on her hips haughtily. Her friend (a blue-headed man) rolled his eyes and gave it back, taking his girlfriend by the arm and escorting her away from the table.  
  
"Well," Irvine said tentatively after a moment. "Sit down and let's order."  
  
Everyone grumbled something and took a seat, and Quistis passed around the drink menus while Selphie peered down at the huge appetizer list. They didn't serve proper meals here, but they all seemed hungry enough for a cocktail snack.  
  
"Hey, look, Irvy - people are dancing!" Selphie squealed, pointing at the teenagers in the back of the club.  
  
"So?" He shrugged without looking up. Selphie scoffed and grabbed his wrist, kicking aside his chair and yanking the cowboy onto the dance floor. Quistis giggled slightly, watching them with amusement as Selphie took up the latest dance moves and Irvine stood blankly before her. Squall looked over at Rinoa, who had a mischievous smile on her face.  
  
"No. Oh no, not again; you've dragged me enough tonight!" He folded his arms stubbornly, refusing to look at her.  
  
"Oh yes, come here, Squally!" She called gleefully, carefully scraping back her chair to go around the table and yank him out of his own.  
  
"I'll go with you," He began in a low, steady tone, looking up at her. "If you never call me 'Squally' again." Rinoa's smile intensified.  
  
"Done deal."  
  
~  
  
A large "thud" echoed through the office, and Quistis' eyes jerked open, and Xu's feet slipped angrily out of the chair. Both looked up to see that the Commander had fallen out of his own chair and was lying on his side, looking up at them as though bewildered.  
  
"I hate dreaming," He muttered, standing and retrieving his coat. Now that night had settled all around Garden, it was a lot cooler - not that it wasn't welcome - and Quistis found herself shivering. Xu's collar had been yanked open and her tie thrust across the room, and now her neck was cold and she found herself looking awful in the uniform while it lacked the tie.  
  
"Anyone want to go for dinner? I'm sure somebody's in the Cafeteria now," The Instructor grumbled, working on pinning up her hair.  
  
"Yeah, sure, let's go," Squall said absently, shrugging on his coat and heading for the door.  
  
~  
  
"Done deal."  
  
Rinoa tugged him out to where the other couples were dancing, although he stood there, looking rather embarrassed. The Sorceress had already started, but he merely stood there like Irvine, who was now being tutored by Selphie.  
  
"What is it?" She asked, genuinely concerned.  
  
"I . . . don't know any of these stupid dance moves," He told her, staring at the floor. Rinoa rolled her eyes and grinned.  
  
"C'mon, it's easy! Just move your feet a little - that's it - don't stand in one place like that -" Squall stopped abruptly, clenching his fists.  
  
"I look like a nutcase, Rinoa. Are you sure they don't waltz at places like these?" He begged, looking around. She shrugged.  
  
"I guess we could try, although we'll look a little silly."  
  
"Good. Anything's better than this," He agreed, and placed his arms automatically around her waist and she dragged one hand up in hers. The music wasn't really waltz-appropriate, but it worked just fine for them, although people started giving them odd stares as their dance differed so much from that of the other teenagers. Finally, as the song ended, Rinoa backed in close to him.  
  
"You still remember, Mr. Leonhart. I'm very surprised." He kissed her forehead lightly.  
  
"How would I forget? 'You're the best-looking guy here', honestly. Did you mean that?" He asked, a threadbare smile on his face.  
  
"Of -"  
  
"What kind of stupid dance was that?" Zell asked pompously, coming over to them with his hands on his hips. "You disgrace us SeeDs, you two!" Quistis merely smiled, making faces at the back of Zell's head.  
  
~  
  
"Rinoa! I said, do you want to go down to the Cafeteria and have dinner with me and Irvine?"  
  
Someone was pounding incessantly on her door, jerking Rinoa slowly out of her sleep. She was lying on the bed in her guestroom, and found that her duster was tangled around her legs. Getting up slowly and cracking several places at once, she went to the door and opened it, squinting in the sudden rush of light.  
  
"Well? Are you coming?" Selphie asked impatiently, hands on her hips.  
  
"Yeah . . . sure."  
  
~  
  
Not very good, but was symbolic enough. Still suffering post-Order of the Phoenix apathy. 


	7. Chapter Seven: Group Therapy

---Disclaimer: I own nothing of Final Fantasy VIII. Everything is © Square.  
  
---Author's Notes: More delays! Apologies, apologies . . . but I think this chapter's pretty good! The beginnings of fluff, at least. Heh, one more complication that'll take at least two chapters, then for the end it's going to be a whole chapter of fluff just to make up for my short delays. Hope you're enjoying it so far ^^  
  
~  
  
"Pass the . . . salt," Zell said lamely, trying to find an excuse to get Rinoa to meet his eyes. The salt was conveniently right next to her elbow, and he knew that she wouldn't be able to refuse this plea, like she had for Irvine's ketchup, Selphie's napkins, or Quistis' fork. They hadn't bothered with Squall, already knowing what his answer would be ("Get it yourself"). But if this was the one way they were going to make the most stubborn lovers in the world stop avoiding each other's eyes over dinner in a cafeteria, then by Hyne they were going to take it.  
  
Rinoa sighed and finally looked up at the blonde, handing him the salt with a bit of hesitation. The martial artist immediately swiveled his eyes Squall's way, giving her a thumbs-up partially hidden by his paper cup filled with soda. He felt his chest swell with pride when she cautiously chanced the Commander a look, but then turned away and shuddered. Both Sorceress and Knight were picking at their food, obviously uncomfortable with the dinner arrangements.  
  
Zell shot Selphie a look, who nodded fervently and reached over to tap Squall's fist. He glared angrily up at her, but she didn't seem to take notice.  
  
"Umm . . . Xu wants to ask you a question," She said, at a loss for excuses. Xu was sitting next to Rinoa, so his eyesight needed to travel past the Sorceress to get to the brunette on her other side.  
  
"No she doesn't," Squall said in a listless voice, raising his drink and taking a sip. "If she did, I would have heard her ask you." Selphie bit her lip. He was right; it was so quiet at their table that even a whisper would have been heard.  
  
There was silence at the table for a few more minutes, and then Irvine nudged the Commander's elbow and grinned, whispered something to him, and then let his eyes dart over to Rinoa. Squall angrily scraped back his chair and stormed out of the room, making everybody at the table jump. Rinoa put her head in her hands and Selphie started swatting at Irvine for ruining it, while Quistis massaged her temples and Zell got up to start punching at an imaginary opponent.  
  
"Let's just face it - none of us can get them back together!" Quistis announced loudly, speaking as if Rinoa wasn't there. The Sorceress wailed loudly, and Selphie put a comforting arm around her shoulder while shooting Quistis the look of death. "What? It's true! And we're not doing any better a job than they could. I think that we should leave it up to them to resolve this."  
  
"Hear, hear!" Zell said, grinning at the other blonde.  
  
"But we do know that we're not giving up until they're back together, right?" She said in a lower voice, still pretending that Rinoa was nowhere to be found.  
  
"Right!" Selphie and Irvine said together, determination written on their faces.  
  
"Yeah? And how are you going to do that? He flat out hates me, you remember!" Rinoa trilled, taking away her hands and rubbing her arm across her eyes.  
  
"Well, that's what we're going to change," Quistis stated matter-of-factly, peering over the table at her distraught friend. Everyone had taken their seats again, dragging the cheap chairs towards Rinoa and leaning their head closer. "Okay, everybody has to get this straight - especially you, Rinoa" - the Sorceress nodded jubilantly, still wiping away her tears - "and timing is of the essence, if we're going to make this work. You have that? We're SeeDs, and we never fail, especially for our friends. Now, excuse the cheesy lines and let's start planning a way to reverse the most stubborn mind in Garden."  
  
~  
  
"Yo, Squall!"  
  
The Commander instantly recognized the martial artist's voice and his familiar thudding on his dormitory door.  
  
"Go away, Zell! It's two o'clock in the morning," he shouted angrily, shoving the pillow over his head and turning onto his stomach. Griever was piled in a puddle on his desk, his jacket was flung over the chair back, and the sheets were tangled around his legs, giving him the impression of a fly tangled in a spider's web.  
  
"Nah; you gotta come now! I can't sleep, and I wanna go to the training center for an hour or somethin'. You come with me?" Zell said in his most casual voice, and Selphie gave him a thumbs-up from around the corner.  
  
"Not on your life, you dumb blonde. Last time I went with you I was under dormitory arrest for a week," the Commander said harshly, his voice muffled since his mouth was pressed to the mattress.  
  
"Aw, c'mon! You're such an old stick in the mud; you know that curfew doesn't apply to the Commander, and certainly not to one of the SeeDs who saved the world," Zell said, not the slightest bit fazed.  
  
"It's not curfew I'm worried about," Squall muttered, kicking the sheets onto the floor and cursing blackly at them. The heat was driving him insane; he was built for Trabia, not hot-summered Balamb.  
  
"Then come on out with me. It'll be fun, something you really need to experience more!" The martial artist persisted, banging on the door again. Squall grabbed a stapler and chucked it at the door, clearly frustrated. Finally, still muttering under his breath, he grabbed Lionheart, kicked open the door, and stalked out to the training center with Zell in tow.  
  
~  
  
"See? What did I tell you?" Zell said, trying to sound cheerful as they fought off a couple of Grats. Squall sliced easily through the monsters and turned away, peering around bushes and rocks for the T-Rexaur.  
  
Behind him, Irvine appeared from behind a short shrub, giving Zell a pleading look. The blonde made a motion with his hand that would have said 'things are under control'. Irvine nodded, still looking fearful, but ducked out of sight and left the martial artist to jog and catch up with his Commander.  
  
Irvine slogged through a patch of murky water to reach Rinoa and Quistis, who were standing before the T-Rexaur, who was chained to a fence and looking angry. Selphie and Xu were doing their best to restrain it, although it didn't look like it was going too well: Mrs. Kinneas had marks where the chains dug into her skin up her shoulders, and Xu was disheveled and tugging fruitlessly on the restraints. The sharpshooter tapped Quistis hard on the shoulder.  
  
"Everything's in position," He said grandly, grinning broadly over at Selphie, who shot daggers at him.  
  
"Perfect," The Instructor breathed, peering around a rock. As Squall and Zell came into view, she told Rinoa, "Okay . . . start!" Xu and Selphie dropped the chains, darting behind bushes as the two men rounded a corner.  
  
"You - stupid - beast! Can't a girl get - any - decent - training around her anymore with - out - you - sneaking up - on her?" Rinoa shouted angrily, feigning exhaustion as she shot minor spells at the enormous dinosaur. Glancing at the approaching SeeDs out of the corner of her eye, she fell to her knees, groaning angrily and still pretending to look distraught.  
  
Squall's heart wrenched unwillingly out of his chest when he saw her, and Zell grinned at Selphie, hidden a clump of bushes, behind his friend's back. "Uh . . . I think she kinda needs help, Squall," Zell said, trying his best to sound innocent. The Commander whipped out Lionheart and grabbed Zell's wrist, pulling him over to where the T-Rexaur had Rinoa 'cornered'.  
  
Lionheart, when in the hands of someone sober, made the dinosaur work, along with Zell's help. When the beast finally ran for terror and the two men lay gasping on the training center floor, Rinoa scrambled hastily to her feet and flung her arms around Squall's neck.  
  
"Thanks! I'm sorry, I was just so upset from dinner tonight that I came here unprepared, and I just couldn't fight him off," Rinoa sobbed, pressing her head into the Commander's neck. Confusion filled his light blue eyes, and he patted her back awkwardly, as if he didn't remember that he used to kiss her as if life would end right there in front of him.  
  
"Uh . . . sure," he said uncomfortably, but continued when Zell gave him a look of encouragement. "Listen . . . I'm going to go down to the infirmary and get these cuts cleaned up. Do you need to come down, too?" Uncertainty had taken a hold on his voice, but when Rinoa spoke, her expression was so bright that Quistis believed it radiated all the way to the moon, even if Squall couldn't see it.  
  
"Yeah, I think I've got a really big one right here on my leg. It would be okay if I came, right?" She asked, already knowing the answer by the way his arms had unconsciously locked around her back.  
  
"Sure!" he said defensively, and stood, offering her a hand up. She took it gracefully, then doubled over, clutching at an imaginary wound in her leg. He kept a firm lock on her arm as they walked out of the center together, and the conspirators came out of hiding.  
  
"That was absolutely perfect! Now all we gotta do is hope that he doesn't get too hard-headed and she doesn't go all mushy," Selphie said, gazing after them.  
  
"At least we got him to get out here; I thought that that would be the hardest part. He never passes up a chance to show off his skills nowadays, and with buried feelings for Rinoa, I figured that getting him to rescue her would be fairly easy. Nice work, Zell," Quistis added belatedly, clapping her fellow blonde on the shoulder.  
  
"Actually, I should be getting down there as well. See, I've got this huge -"  
  
"NO!" The all shouted angrily at him, hands on their hips. He held up his hands in defense, chuckling nervously.  
  
"Kidding! I'm kidding, see the joking look on my face? Kidd - ing!" Zell said, trying to hide the fear in his voice.  
  
~  
  
"So . . . watcha been up to?" Rinoa asked uncertainly, swinging her legs as she sat on the bed next to Squall. Kadowaki had disappeared to fetch antiseptic, leaving the two of them alone.  
  
"Paperwork," He responded dully, chancing a look up at her. "I . . . have a question."  
  
"Shoot," the Sorceress said cheerfully, clasping her hands in front of her.  
  
"Why did you choose Trabia, of all places? I mean, you could've gone to Edea's orphanage, or Winhill, or Esthar, or even back to Timber; I mean, why Trabia?" Squall asked, his brow creasing and making the scar between his eyes look like a ripple. Rinoa shrugged slowly, glancing down at her swinging feet.  
  
"I guess it was because I could become a SeeD there without many complications. Cid knows the headmaster, and he put in a few words of request and bang, I had a dorm and I was SeeD. But they didn't treat me like normal SeeDs; I was never asked to go on a mission, which is partly why I started coming apart. They left me alone, so all I did was lie in my room all day and think about the life I gave up here. I even called Laguna a couple of times because I couldn't take it, and he invited me to Esthar with honors, but I continually turned him down. I told him that I had an obligation, which I really didn't; I just wanted to finally seem important," she concluded, finally looking back up again.  
  
"Oh," he said simply, unsure of what else to say. Then, another question flared in his mind. "Rinoa . . . did you really leave because of all the stupid press and gossip? Or did you have a problem with me, or someone else here?" The Sorceress looked appalled.  
  
"A problem with you? Squall, I love you, and I love my friends like family. I had no other problems except the over-attention, which I had never gotten before, and I couldn't handle it - especially for that reason. Why would I have a problem with you guys?" she asked uncertainly, looking him over. His hands were ungloved, Griever wasn't around his neck, his jacket wasn't present, and Lionheart was still in the training center. He didn't look like himself without those little things that made him Squall.  
  
"I don't know," He said, shrugging. "I was just wondering if it wasn't for that stupid reason."  
  
"Okay, what have we got here? Training center? Really, and I thought you had matured enough to escape from T-Rexaurs now," Kadowaki said, shaking her head as she walked in. She set down the bottles of antiseptic that she had retrieved and looked Rinoa over, a line forming between her eyebrows. "Nothing wrong with you, dear; just a little dusted up, I'd say. Take a bath and you'll be fine." Rinoa smiled nervously.  
  
"Oh - oh really? Sorry for wasting your time, then; I'll get going. W - want me to wait for you, Squall?" She added tentatively, gesturing to the door.  
  
"Uh . . . if you want to, I mean . . . you must be tired, and all . . ." He didn't seem to notice that she had no injures, and he rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably.  
  
"Okay then, I'll just be out in the hall for when you come out." She smiled and waved at him, slipping through the door.  
  
"So . . . you finally made up with her?" Kadowaki asked, a smile forming on her face.  
  
"Not formally," He replied, wincing as she used Curaga on his wounds.  
  
"Well, good enough. Go get 'er, Commander, Sir," Kadowaki said, giving him a mocking salute as he jumped off of the bed and exited the infirmary.  
  
"Ha, ha, very funny," He called sarcastically over his shoulder, and Rinoa grinned as he came into the hallway. They walked aimlessly through the dormitories, coming first outside her own. Before she went in, Squall caught her arm, pulling back out to face him.  
  
"Listen . . . can I . . . meet you tomorrow, somewhere? Like, in the Quad, or something? It would be really emotionless to say it right here," He said uncertainly, running a hand through his hair. Rinoa smiled.  
  
"Sure. At night, though; Selphie and Quistis are taking me into town from ten to four. I can't wait to see what kind of day *that* winds up to be," the Sorceress said, giggling. He smiled as well, and didn't realize that he had kept his hold on her wrist.  
  
"Good night," She said, tugging her arm away from him and disappearing inside her guest room.  
  
"Good night," Squall muttered, walking away.  
  
Inside her borrowed dormitory, Rinoa sank to the floor, leaning against the sliding door. She had brought the celebratory picture from Trabia and tacked it hastily on the wall, and it grinned across the room at her.  
  
"Yes!"  
  
~ 


	8. Chapter Eight: A Mixed Bag

---Disclaimer: I own nothing of Final Fantasy VIII, yadda yadda yadda, everything is © Square, blah blah blah. You should get it by now.  
  
---Author's Notes: Delay = Going to see Cabaret in New York for the weekend. I'm not apologizing, 'cause I loved it ;)  
  
~  
  
This time, as the sound of her boots reverberated off of the Quad walls, Squall did not jerk his head up in fright or anticipation, nor did he cower in the shadows and pretend he did not hear her. He embraced the thought that she was approaching, that at any minute he would lay eyes on her again and decide what to finally make of their situation. No, not he alone - they would decide on what to do with the shambles of their relationship. He hadn't spoken once to his so-called friends who had decided to play matchmaker the last evening, but it wasn't out of anger; he had been pacing in his office the entire day, trying to decide on what he could say to her and how to make it sound like he wasn't either a crazy, war-obsessed psycho or a gushy, falling-apart romantic. He had finally settled on his normal, aloof attitude, as if it would have wound up to be anything else, and decided that - after a few headache pills courtesy of Quistis - romance wasn't worth the migraines that he had suffered through.  
  
"Squall?"  
  
Her voice echoed down the nearly-empty Quad stairs, and it greeted him as if he had been burned. His head shot up involuntarily, and he cursed himself mentally for giving in tot hat tone in her voice that made him just want to run to her. Inhaling deeply, he willed the calm air to soothe all of the tension away from his body, just as Matron had taught them when they were younger. However, it hardly helped, and in the end he settled on striding over to the stairs to meet her.  
  
Rinoa's smile greeted him as always as he approached the stairs. She took the last step down and cocked her head at him, curious at his silent behavior. He would have spoken right then if he hadn't been deciding on the best thing to say, and she had a puzzled look in her eyes. Shaking his shoulder, she asked, "Are you feeling okay, Squall?"  
  
He shook his head, chestnut hair falling into his eyes. "Yeah, I was just . . . thinking," He said, as if she didn't know. She smiled, but it did not touch her eyes.  
  
"What did you want to say?" She asked quietly, looking up at him. He wasn't that much taller than her, but in this situation, it seemed a good idea to give him the impression that he was. In Rinoa's mind, it made him feel more comfortable, but this theory had yet to be proven true. And it never would, because under this look, he grew even more nervous. Shifting uncomfortably, he turned around, feeling that he could breathe easier when not facing her directly. He closed his eyes, trying to find the words to best phrase it without seeming too resentful or too uncaring. He never was a wizard with words; far from it.  
  
"I just . . . see, it goes like this: you leave for some idiotic reason, I pine, you come back, I yell. It's hard to go around that schedule, especially the yelling bit. Okay, idiotic reasons don't give you a good case, especially when you leave because of them, and then coming back and actually wanting to talk to me? It requires some yelling, even you have to admit; it's unavoidable. I couldn't help it, and since yelling is a vital part of my everyday constitution it was necessary that I enhance it a bit more because you had done all of that . . ." Rinoa put a hand on his shoulder, silencing him effectively.  
  
"You don't want to say it directly; even I can see that, Squall. But the thing is that I don't blame you in the slightest, if you had done that to me, I would have done the same thing. I hurt you, and I deserved all of the yelling that I received. I can't say this without sounding like I'm trying to be your mother, or cliché, but . . . I'd love you even if you yelled at me for the rest of eternity," She said gently, easing him around to face her. The expression on his face was a mix between anguish and relief, and she wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning her head against his chest. On instinct, he moved to accommodate her, feeling most of the fears he had about this visit drain away as his arms found the position around her back a lot less strangely than the previous night.  
  
Seifer let out his breath, turning to go back up the stairs. He had been planning on mopping out the Quad, and then proceeding to the Parking Garage. However, with Commander Puberty and his stupid angel, there was no way of getting the Quad cleaned today. He'd have to try again tomorrow. Mentally moving the Quad to the bottom of his public service list, he started back up the stairs.  
  
"Parking Garage, here I come," He muttered, and no one would have been able to miss the bitterness in his voice.  
  
"Why don't you take a break? I know for a fact that you've been working your sorry hide off, as I've seen you at it everyday. And as it seems that nothing's missing from my office as of yet, or Squall's, I'm assuming that you're sticking to the rules laid down for you. I must say, I'm impressed." The ex-knight growled when his liquid gaze reached the stronghold blue of Quistis', although she didn't hold mocking in her posture - for once, he thought sourly.  
  
"No. Once I clean out the Parking Garage I'm taking dinner, then I've got dorm duty 'till SeeD curfew. After that I'm going to bed," He said flatly, leaving all emotion out of his voice. The Instructor folded her arms, looking him over.  
  
"First, I'm going to order you to take a shower. You're disgusting; where've you been cleaning?" She asked rather loftily, examining him.  
  
"Training Center. How are you supposed to CLEAN that place?" He roared, finally, and stormed out, shoving roughly past her and dragging his custodial supplies in tow.  
  
A dull "thud" and a sharp "click" sounded swiftly through the Quad again, and next second Rinoa and Squall had come into view, both looking slightly flustered. Quistis' eyebrows twitched, but refused to say anything on the matter, wanting the two of them to be the first to speak. Squall was avoiding her look and staring at the floor, and Rinoa seemed to be readying her voice to speak.  
  
"Seifer?" She asked mildly, her eyes traveling the ex-Knight's path. His curses and grumbles could still be heard down the hall, and a few angry SeeDs and a trail of cadets stormed into the Quad, stomping furiously past the three of them. Quistis' hand latched onto Rain's arm, tugging her aside as the rest of her friends moved on.  
  
"What?" She said irritably, before calling ahead: "Wait up!"  
  
"Is he terrorizing people?" The blonde asked sharply, staring down the bridge of her nose at the SeeD.  
  
"Not yet," Rain said grimly, straining to get away from the Instructor's grasp. Quistis muttered something and released her; she darted off like a bullet back to her throng of friends.  
  
Rinoa stood in front of Squall, one hand on his shoulder. She was smiling at him, although Quistis could not see; the Sorceress's back was to her, and her black hair hid a greater part of Squall's features as well.  
  
"I'm going to make a call to Trabia and see if I can get an extent. I want to stay here as long as possible, and when I have to leave, I'll come back as soon as I can. I wonder if Cid'll let me enroll here, like he did for Irvine . . ." Rinoa mused on the thought a moment, and then shook her head. "Well, I'll drop by your dorm and grab you for breakfast tomorrow." She stood carefully on her toes as if to kiss him, but then dropped back down, smiled weakly, and walked away after she saw him nod.  
  
"Love's hard," Quistis said, hoping to sound comforting. Squall blew out his breath hard, running a hand through his hair.  
  
"Got that right. Half of me wants to forgive her, and the other half doesn't. Hyne . . . I feel like I'm torn in two." He put his head in his hands a minute, then took them away and strode quickly towards the exit. Quistis rubbed her glasses on her skirt absently, and then sighed, starting off in Squall's direction. Maybe she could still stop Seifer's reign of terror.  
  
~  
  
Short! I know, don't kill me! Another one tomorrow, I promise. AND it'll be long. As long as I can make it, at least ;) Well, savor the moment. 


	9. Chapter Nine: The Mission: Part One

---Disclaimer: I own nothing of Final Fantasy VIII; everything is © Square.  
  
~  
  
Something hard pushed into the bare skin of his arm, and then withdrew suddenly. There was a slight intake of breath that was released like a giggle, and then something poked him again. He turned over in his bed angrily, grumbling something incoherent and shoving his pillow over his head, the comforter tangled around and in-between his legs, wrapping around his torso like a snake. There was another slight giggle, and then sudden pressure on the mattress. The pillow was tugged out of his iron grip and tossed across the room, and Squall groaned and shot open his eyes as someone sat on his back.  
  
/Three guesses who, / was his first reaction.  
  
"Morning, Squall! I told you I'd come and get you for breakfast. Come on, now; everybody's already in the Cafeteria. Squall?" Rinoa asked, bending down to look at his anger-filled eyes. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Nnnn . . . I don't eat breakfast, Rinoa. I get coffee, I take it up to my office, and I work until lunch. That's exactly what I'm going to do today, and you're not going to change that. Now get off of me before my lungs cave in," He said through gritted teeth, and the Sorceress quickly scrambled off of him.  
  
"Sorry. I was just . . ." She began mournfully, but he cut her off.  
  
"I know, I know, you had good intentions. I understand that. I just . . . don't like rude awakenings. I like my schedule, I like abiding by that schedule, and I'm going to continue to stick to that agenda. So if you don't mind . . . I'm going to get dressed, get my coffee, and go to work." Rinoa nodded quickly, like a child being reprimanded, and scooped up the Griever pendant from his desk and handing it to him. He gave her a small smile - which for him was a major accomplishment, and her heart swelled with joy - and pulled it over his head. He stood and was about to go for the closet, but he stopped and turned around, brows creased. "How did you get in here, anyway?"  
  
She rubbed her foot on the carpet in an embarrassed way. "Xu gave me an officer's card. The night I came back, I wanted to come and see you first, but you were asleep. I didn't want to wake you up . . . so I left. I . . . forgot to give this back to her." She turned her eyes up to the ceiling a minute before smiling and slapping her sides. "Well . . . I'll let you get dressed. See you around; the Headmaster of Trabia's supposed to be getting back to me soon, anyway. I guess breakfast wouldn't have been a good idea anyway." She waved slightly to him before hurrying out of the door.  
  
Squall was standing, slightly dumbfounded, watching the door in a stupor with his jacket halfway on. Only the chiming of the com dragged him out of his trance, and he shook his head, shrugging on the jacket and picking up the receiver.  
  
"Yeah?" he asked, shouldering it and clasping on a belt.  
  
"Mission came up. You wanna go? Nothing major, just security for a large affair in Esthar. President Loire called and he's still on the line; he wants you to talk to him. I guess to get the details, or something. But do you wanna go? I mean, it'll mean seeing him and all . . ." Xu said, and the rustling of papers could be heard over the intercom. Squall rubbed the back of his neck, quickly contemplating the situation.  
  
"Uh . . . yeah, I guess. Let me talk to him, though, see if I can bring - " He caught himself, mentally reminding himself that they weren't officially 'back' yet. "Let me talk to him."  
  
"Yes, Sir," Xu prompted, and the sharp "click" sounded dully through the com. Squall put it back on the desk and changed the line to his phone, and then he slammed on the speakerphone so he could continue getting dressed.  
  
"Squall? You there?" Laguna's voice was nervous over the phone, as if afraid that his son would cut the line if he said something wrong.  
  
"Yeah. Uh . . . How're you?" The Commander asked uncomfortably, seating himself on the bed and forgetting about the two other belts.  
  
"Fine," The President said, a little too quickly. "I was just . . . we need to be sure that no one's going to disturb the presentation; we've got representatives from so many different countries, and I wouldn't want something like a Galbadia incident, or anything like that. I just need a couple of SeeDs, not a whole battalion or anything. All I need is one for each exit - there are five of them - and maybe two extra, just in case. We're proposing a new laboratory for research in space, and we need funds from as many communities as possible. Squall? Y-you there, son?" Laguna babbled, and Squall's head jerked up.  
  
"Yeah, I'm here. We'll send our best, don't worry. And I'll come as well. When do you need us by? If it's really soon, I'll just shove the seven of us in the Ragnarok, but if it's a bit later I can get the whole Garden out here, maybe, or drive, or something," The Commander said in a businesslike tone, resuming the task of clasping his belts.  
  
"Tomorrow," Laguna said, sounding a bit embarrassed. However, it didn't surprise Squall; Laguna always waited until the last moment to see thing done.  
  
"Alright, I'll be there by tomorrow morning at the latest. Uh . . . see you soon," He said uncertainly.  
  
"Yeah, thanks, you too. See you soon, son." The phone clicked, and Squall set down the receiver.  
  
~  
  
"Seven SeeDs? Alright, I'll grab you a couple." Xu rifled through a few folders before she found an enormous roster. "Let's see . . . well, you, of course, and you can bring Zell, and Rinoa, if she wants to come. As well you can have Rain" -"Who's that?"- "and me. C'mon, Squall, you know you want me to come along!" The Commander scoffed, but she continued. "Just take Quistis and . . . you know, drag Seifer along as well. His last week of service is over in about two days, and he deserves a mission. You okay with that? I mean, you know that he's changed drastically; you've seen him," Xu said, trying to sway the obstinate man in front of her. He waved his hand dismissively.  
  
"Yeah, whatever. He can come. I just want to leave as soon as possible, so can you contact him and that other girl. I'll get Rinoa, Zell, and Quistis." Grabbing the com, he switched it on quickly and stated in his firmest, most military voice: "Instructor Quistis Trepe, Zell Dincht, and Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly will report to the bridge as soon as possible. I repeat, Instructor Quistis Trepe, Zell Dincht, and Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly will report to the bridge as soon as possible. Over and out." Xu nodded approvingly, and Squall rolled his eyes, folding his arm and striding into the hallway to meet his comrades.  
  
"Guess what guess what guess what?" Rinoa shrieked as she darted out of the lift, throwing her arms around Squall's neck and leaping into his arms. Utterly surprised, he grabbed her waist just before she slid down his legs; her grin was a mile wide, and it widened - if that was possible - when she saw the bewildered expression on her Commander's face. "Well? Guess!"  
  
"What?" He asked, managing to get it out as he studied her expression.  
  
"Headmaster of Trabia is sick of me!" She shouted, closing her eyes and wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.  
  
"That's a good thing?" He coughed; Zell and Quistis walked out of the lift. Zell made a motion as if to peel Rinoa off of him, but Squall shook his hand, sputtering at her tight grip.  
  
"Yes! He's transferred me to Balamb!" She loosened her hold on his neck, erupting in a fit of giggles. "Oh, I'm sorry! I'm just so happy; I never thought that I'd be so happy to be a stupid, boring SeeD." She earned a growl from Zell. "Ah - did I say stupid and boring? I meant exciting and charismatic," she said rather lamely, and the blonde, tattooed SeeD folded his arms haughtily.  
  
"Oh! That's great," Squall said truthfully; it seemed like a big weight was gone from his shoulders. He had been dreading her returning to Trabia, because that meant that he would have to get her back to Balamb, and wouldn't be able to get any straight answers out of her, or get to apologize himself. "You're going to stay this time, right?" He said seriously, in a low, dangerous voice. Rinoa nodded quickly.  
  
"Of course. No rumors are going to deter me this time," she told him gallantly, and squeezed his windpipe again.  
  
"This is the second time you've tried to suffocate me today. Would you give it a rest?" He coughed, prying her off of him. She kissed his nose and hopped out of his arms.  
  
"Sorry. But shouldn't we get going? I mean, you promised Laguna we'd be there by dawn."  
  
~  
  
Part one! That's part one! Part two will be up sometime tonight/tomorrow. Heh, ROMANCE in part two! Not big, but good enough for how long I've dragged it out. 


	10. Chapter Ten: The Mission: Part Two

---Disclaimer: I own nothing of Final Fantasy VIII; everything is © Square.  
  
---Author's Notes: Three chapters all in the same vicinity! NOW who's the master updater, eh? Oh, and forgive me if I spell Kiros' and Ward's last names wrong; I don't have my strategy guide here right now x.x  
  
~  
  
"Laguna! It's so great to see you again," Rinoa exclaimed, embracing the President as if he were her own father - whom she'd never hug in her life. Laguna smiled over her shoulder, clearly enjoying the feeling that at least someone besides Ellone hugged him, but nearly shoved her aside when his son came out of the airship, followed by the five other SeeDs that he had bought for the affair. Rinoa, slightly put-out, rubbed her arm and walked back over to her group. The President strode over, moving as if to embrace his son, but at the last minute he let out a defeated sigh and merely clapped the Commander's shoulder.  
  
"Nice to see you again," he said truthfully, admiring all of the SeeDs before them, uniforms crisp in the twilight.  
  
"You too," Squall replied, gifting his father a threadbare smile. Laguna took it to heart and stepped away, folding his arms and addressing all of the SeeDs before him.  
  
"Okay, here's the plan. The convention - of sorts - starts tomorrow evening at roughly 5:00. What I want you to do is to stand guard at the entrances, just in case. I have high doubt that anyone from any province would try something in Esthar, but . . . uh . . . Kiros says I'm a bit off my rocker sometimes, and he was the one who asked me to order you guys. Anyway, I just want one of you positioned at every entrance - there's five of them - and two roaming the seats and stuff, or at the dais with me. You can decide amongst yourselves who that'll be, and I'm sure its gonna be boring, but -"  
  
"Mr. President, it's our job to do what you request. It won't be boring; trust me," Xu prompted, and Laguna ran a hand through his hair, looking much like Squall when nervous.  
  
"Yeah, uh . . . and until then, you can just enjoy the city and everything. Everyone has a separate room at the Presidential Palace, so you don't have to worry about a hotel or anything. So . . . go enjoy yourselves!" He finished heartily, and the seven SeeDs saluted him before dispersing towards the Palace. Laguna grabbed Squall's shoulder and yanked him around before he could leave. Rinoa stopped short as well, intending to wait for him after the President was done.  
  
"Listen . . . if you wanna talk to me sometime, I'd love to know how things are going with you and Rinoa, or how things are at Garden, or whatever you wanna talk about. I don't talk to you that often, and I'd much prefer doing it in person anyway . . ." Laguna faltered, unsure of what to say. His son didn't hate him, but he wasn't exactly running and telling him that he was the world's best father.  
  
"Maybe sometime," Squall said shortly, and turned to walk away, but a look in Rinoa's eyes told him to say something else. He was only trying to make up for past mistakes, after all . . . "After the convention tomorrow; is that good? I just . . . have to get everyone in order before then, and . . . well, you were in the military; you know the drill." Laguna nodded exuberantly.  
  
"Oh, yeah! I understand completely. Great seeing you again, son!" The President called as Rinoa hurried to the Commander, and the two began to walk away. Rinoa waved happily to Laguna as they walked away, and all of the forced happiness for the previous statement deflated out of his stomach as if he were a balloon.  
  
"He's getting better, you have to admit," Kiros said cheerily, clapping his friend on the shoulder.  
  
"Yeah . . . well, c'mon, let's go get everything ready," the President said wearily, turning in the other direction.  
  
"Yes, Sir!" Kiros said, and Laguna kicked him hard in the shin.  
  
~  
  
"Do I have to?" Rain moaned, crossing her arms over her disheveled uniform. It hadn't lasted long through the night or that morning, mirroring Rinoa's.  
  
"Yeah, you do," Squall said firmly, and pointed to the left of the dais. She stalked off angrily, followed by Xu; Squall had appointed the two of them 'roving officers', and, unlike Rain, Xu had jumped on the idea. She was not one to sit around; restlessness would have killed her. The Commander directed Zell to the exit on the far left, and Quistis that on the far right. Squall himself had taken the center door, and Seifer was standing dutifully on his right, Rinoa on his left. Everything was taken care of; typical SeeD protocol. The auditorium that Laguna had selected for the meeting was filled with representatives from nearly every province, and Laguna himself was standing proudly on the raised platform at the head of the room, beaming around at all of the different people.  
  
"Okay, I just want to welcome you all to Esthar!" Laguna began cheerily, clapping his hands together. A few charts were tacked up behind him, and Kiros and Ward were standing, as always, by his side. "If you don't already know - which you really should, you know - I'm Laguna Loire, President here. These are my two trusted advisors, Kiros Seagill" - Laguna gestured to Kiros, who made a formal half-bow - "and Ward Zaback." Ward rumbled something incoherent and turned his head away. Now, I want everyone to take a look at the back of the auditorium" - Every head turned simultaneously to view the SeeDs standing formally by the doors - "and locate the five SeeDs standing over each door. They are here to keep things under control - not that we'll need it - and to assure you that everything is safe. Now turn back to the front and face me" - They all did just that - "and view the two SeeDs on either side of the dais. They will be patrolling the auditorium and reporting any unethical behavior to Kiros, Ward, or myself." Laguna immediately dropped the formalities and grinned broadly at the stone-faced people filling the auditorium. "Well, now that that's over, let's get on with the presentation."  
  
As Laguna proceeded to state the cause of the laboratory and the need for funds, Rinoa shifted next to Squall and giggled softly. He shot her a sharp look, but only made her laugh harder. A few people in the back row turned around to glare at them, and Squall apologized hurriedly for the distraction, and strode quickly over to the Sorceress and seized her arm.  
  
"What do you think you're doing?" He hissed, pushing her up against the door. She bit her lip, trying to stifle her amusement. "Well?" He demanded, his grip becoming painfully tight on her arm. Anything could happen when they were alone, but this was SeeD - he had Garden's reputation to protect, and having his Sorceress ruin an important sermon by his klutzy father wouldn't help in the slightest.  
  
"It's just . . . he looks so funny up there. I mean, you can tell that he's not putting on any façade, because he's acting just like himself. It's really comical; just take a look -" Squall cut her off, one of his fingers in her face.  
  
"Listen! He's the weirdest person for this job, I know that, and apparently he's not the best public speaker, but leave him alone about it! You don't have to laugh at him because he's not the world's best speech-maker," He growled, he released his grip and stalked back to his position. Rinoa's eyes welled with translucent tears, and she rubbed her wrist where he had driven his nails into her skin.  
  
"I - I didn't mean it that way," She said quietly, staring at the floor. Squall cursed blackly through clenched teeth; now he'd done it. She'd cry and ruin the whole thing for his father - something he had never considered before - and on top of that, she'd be really pissed at him. Summoning all of his kind threads, he walked quickly over to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. In the background, Laguna rambled on:  
  
". . . And of course the possibilities will be infinite if we establish a permanent research base up there; so many things could be collected, and more information than ever could be found and distributed. Who knows, maybe one day we'll all live in space!" Laguna threw his arms out to the side, and a couple of people chuckled. "Good, good!" He enthused, eyes shining. "I don't want this place to be like a graveyard . . ."  
  
"I'm sorry," Squall began quietly, not meeting her eyes. "It's just . . . sometimes duty overrides insight, and I have to refer to protocol before thinking about your feelings. I didn't want anything to blow this for him because . . . well, he's my father, however grudging I am to admit it. I want him to get all the money he'll ever need for this thing, because that's what makes him happy. I mean, just look at him - he's having a blast because he loves doing this, and -"  
  
To his surprise, Rinoa had put a finger to his lips, shaking her head. Her tears were gone, and she had a sly smile on her face.  
  
"Just stop babbling for a minute and let me do something," She whispered, and, without waiting for a reply, she raised herself on her toes and kissed him. Somewhat taken aback, it took him a moment to respond.  
  
A sudden roar of applause filled their ears, and they broke apart, staring around wildly. Laguna's speech wasn't even halfway over, but the crowd was standing and cheering - not for the President, but for the two SeeDs standing in the back of the auditorium.  
  
~ 


	11. Chapter Eleven: Bliss

---Disclaimer: I own nothing of Final Fantasy VIII. Everything is © Square.  
  
---Author's Notes: The description of the Clock Tower might be a little off, because I'm still fighting Adel in the game. (x.x) WAIT! WAIT!! DON'T SHOOT! I do know the ending, so all of my facts are correct pertaining to that; I'm not a fraud, I swear it! I have seen the ending! I'm just warning you ahead of time about the sparse description. And please, by all means correct me if I've done something out-of-kilter. Thanks. Oh, and I'm including a quote in the beginning because it fits these too so well ^^  
  
~  
  
They say the rhythm of the earth is interrupted  
  
By the out of the ordinary.  
  
But how can you interrupt,  
  
With something that was meant to be?  
  
~  
  
It was so dim up there. Rinoa could hardly make out Squall standing next to her; he was nervously contemplating the situation at hand, trying to decide if they needed time to prepare before facing Ultimecia or if they were ready. Everybody was worn from battling the Omega Weapon, but they were ready - everyone had been healed to the full extent, and they were ready. Or as ready as they'd ever be. However, it pained Rinoa to see that he was baffled at what they should do; usually he was so 'take-charge' of the situation, commanding the Gardens into battle and sounding so inspirational over the com that day (not that she'd heard it; she had listened to a replay of it from Zell). Finally, he ran a hand through his hair and directed Zell to go in ahead of him. She was about to trail him, but the Commander grabbed her arm.  
  
"What is it?" She asked, genuinely concern. She had never seen that much emotion displayed on his face at once. He knew what he wanted to say, but just looked worried about saying it.  
  
Drawing in a deep breath, he said, "Just . . . whatever happens, in the end - just walk on, okay? Only worry about yourself." It seemed to take a lot of effort just to get those few words out. Rinoa was taken aback, her eyes wide.  
  
"But - you - you guys are my companions, my comrades . . . if I had a choice to run or save you, I would choose the latter, no question -" She began, but he cut her off sharply, his demanding manner back.  
  
"No! Just - just promise me that you'll think about yourself first, okay? I mean, if you have the chance and something bad happens, by all means save us if you can - but if you don't have the time, don't do it. Swear it, Rinoa!" He commanded, shaking her shoulder.  
  
Although she didn't mean it, she nodded. "O - okay. Fine. But if -"  
  
"Go! Just go if you need to. Now c'mon . . . might as well face it now." And, with an incredible sense of dread, the two walked into Ultimecia's awaiting chambers, a huge sense of dread in the pit of their stomachs . . .  
  
~  
  
Rinoa's eyes shot open, but she didn't sit up in bed. That would have woken him up, and, after what Selphie put them through last night, was a bad idea. When Kiros finally hauled their sorry hides up to their separate rooms, shaking his head, it was around four o'clock in the morning. Rinoa had immediately run into Squall's room, and he accepted her warmly - the rest of the night was lost in the vortex of half-drunkenness and delirious babbling. They both had been somewhat tipsy from the 'celebration' that Ms. Mary Sunshine had thrown, although kissing hardly seemed something worth celebrating. Laguna had been miffed that the applause wasn't for him, as well as the celebration; however, he had gotten all the money needed to fund the laboratory, and by the end of the night he was nursing his third champagne and heartily thanking his son and the Sorceress beside him.  
  
Tracing her fingers down his bare chest, she smiled slightly to herself. She never would have expected that Squall Leonhart was a late sleeper; he was so duty-bound, she found herself thinking sometimes that he would wake up at three o'clock in the morning. However, since she had had to wake him up several times in her life, she finally settled that all of his work had driven him mad with exhaustion and caused him to sleep late. Which was fine with her . . . sometimes.  
  
"Welcome back to the world of the living," She said quietly as his eyes opened halfway. He closed them again, turning onto his stomach and away from her. "No you don't. No more sleep for you." She grinned, grabbing his shoulders and hauling him into a sitting position. Squall immediately growled and sank down under the sheets again, covering his head. Rinoa slid off of the bed and yanked the comforter away, making him shiver slightly at the sudden surge of the air-conditioned suite. "You're lucky I feel sorry for you," She said, laughing slightly and tossing the covers back onto the mattress. She hopped back up, and he yawned.  
  
"What time is it?" He murmured, blindly feeling on the nightstand next to him and grabbing the chain to his Griever pendant. Rinoa glanced at the clock on his bedstand; his eyes weren't open, so he wasn't looking at it.  
  
"Around six. I'm surprised you're up this early," She said truthfully, curling against his side. He put his arm reflexively around her; she had gone to bed in her black tank top, forgoing the duster and skirt overlapping the black shorts.  
  
"Well, if you hadn't started . . . touching me, I would've slept longer. Way longer," he said, a hint of anger in his voice. She frowned.  
  
"I thought you liked that," She said, running a hand through his hair.  
  
"I like it when I'm awake, not when I'm sleeping off five gallons of red wine," he muttered, clasping the pendant around his neck. She giggled.  
  
"Selphie's doing, not mine. Go blame her. In fact, you can do it right now; it's time for breakfast! You're father's joining us," She said happily, bounding off of the bed and running into the closet to change. Squall's features froze and took a minute to thaw, and then he shook his head. After that speech last night, the moron deserved his son's company for a half-and- hour, at least. The Commander slid off of the bed and retrieved a clean white shirt from his travel bag, then shrugged into his coat. Rinoa bounded out of the closet, leaping on his back like a child in a pig-a-back ride. Squall let out a genuine "oof" when he felt her sudden weight upon his back, and latched his arms under her legs, lowering her to the ground.  
  
"Off," He said sternly, and she complied, somewhat downtrodden. He rubbed his back where her boot had dug through the leather. "You've gotta stop with the spur-of-the-moment glomping bit you know? At least warn me first." He chanced her a rare smile, and she returned it, somewhat wider.  
  
"May I jump and hang on around your neck, Commander Sir?" She asked, hardly able to contain her laughter as she formally saluted him. He gave her an official-looking nod.  
  
"Yes." She did as she had said, leaping at him and looping her arms around his neck and knotting her legs around his back. He rolled his eyes but rubbed her back nonetheless, starting for the door. Rinoa scrambled off of him and opened it; however, a whole host was waiting in the hall already.  
  
"Roooom SERVICE!" Selphie shrieked, jumping at Squall so forcefully that she knocked him clean off of his feet. Rinoa caught him before he hit the ground, and Irvine tore his wife off of his Commander and slapped her back playfully.  
  
"Now, Sefie, you're committed now. You're not allowed to do that anymore," He mock-chastised, but she just grabbed his hat and darted into the room, leaping on the unmade bed and scowling at the canopy.  
  
"Sir Laguna, how come they got a four-poster? I only got a single!" She complained, folding her arms and frowning at the President as he entered, blushing crimson and rubbing the back of his neck.  
  
"Well - ah, this is actually Squall's room. I . . . ah . . . gave him the suite, since he's my son and all . . . the suite comes with a four-poster, so . . ." Quistis placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder; her hair was braided, and it shocked the two people who hadn't seen it before. Rinoa dropped Squall, who'd she'd been supporting, and the Commander himself closed his eyes and reopened them, as if expecting it to materialize back into its old style. Selphie growled at Laguna's response, but commenced jumping on Squall's bed, happily enjoying the feather mattress.  
  
"Well, we brought room service," Xu said in a more pleasurable voice, wheeling in the cart. Zell was already charging down a plate of hotdogs, and cast a grin around the room before swallowing another whole.  
  
"Great! I'm starving," Rinoa exclaimed, approaching the omelet platter.  
  
So, work and dignity forgotten, the nine of them - Squall, Rinoa, Zell, Quistis, Irvine, Selphie, Xu, Laguna, and Ellone, who showed up a minute after the door closed - spread across the room and wolfed down the room service that Quistis had taken the liberty of ordering. They ended up needing a second cart, and the poor maid that had to bring it up was dumbfounded at the amount of people in the one room, not to mention the President and the Commander of SeeD. After they had finished, Quistis gladly pressed the tab into Laguna's hand, and the six SeeDs dispersed in a fit of laughter as the President scratched his head in dismay.  
  
~  
  
Snow fell softly on the other side of the window, sticking to the glass and frosting over Rinoa's vision of the outside world. Barely three weeks ago she'd been watching it from her torturous room in Trabia Garden, and now . . .  
  
She grinned and traced Squall's cheekbone, making him look up at her. Although his first expression was one of anger at disrupting those SeeD rubrics he was finally grading, it soon melted away and he dropped the pen in his hand to bring it up and run through her hair. She held it there and knelt next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder. He sighed and freed his other hand, scraping back his chair and yanking her into his lap. Rinoa giggled lightly into his chest, curling up against him and grabbing his hand, lacing her fingers in with his.  
  
"I had a dream, which was not really a dream at all . . ." She muttered, and kicked off from the desk, sending the chair spinning around and moving his hand as if they were dancing.  
  
"Oh yeah? And did this unreal dream involve waltzing in a desk chair?" He asked, slightly amused.  
  
"No, in a bar," She replied, kicking the wall and sending the chair spinning into a bookshelf. Squall blanched.  
  
"Really? I had something similar, but it was more of a memory; it was about two weeks after the Ultimecia celebration, and we were in a bar in Deling . . ." He began.  
  
". . . And you didn't know the new dance steps, so we waltzed and Zell laughed at us . . ." She filled in.  
  
". . . And Quistis made faces at the back of his head," Squall finished. "Hyne, I'm going crazy." Rinoa laughed and felt his forehead.  
  
"Nah. Everyone's got the flu. We've been in Trabia way too long, you know; I don't know why you've stationed Garden here anyway. I hate this place," Rinoa said, and raised herself on her knees to kiss his scar.  
  
"I told you, it was a trade-off. The Headmaster wanted two dozen of our SeeDs to do some two-week seminar here about Hyne knows what. Xu's handling it, because I'm too dense at this time of year," he said, kicking the wall and sending the chair spinning back to the desk. He grinned, brushing her hair out of her face. "Still . . . how come you didn't get the flu? Everyone else did." He gestured vaguely to the door, and, as if on cue, it burst open, and a red-eyed Quistis came in, followed by a sniffling Seifer.  
  
"Gotta - go ad monitor the SeeBs at Gaden. Swithing shifts with Zell," Seifer sneezed, rubbing his nose on a very worn-looking handkerchief.  
  
"And I have to monitor him," Quistis said, shooting what was supposed to be an exasperated glare at Seifer, but turned out to be more of a fond apprehension. Rinoa turned her head against Squall's chest to stop from laughing, and even the Commander allowed himself a small smirk.  
  
"Yeah, whatever. Just send the other ones back and tell them to PLEASE go to the Infirmary; all of the traveling back and forth between Gardens is killing everyone." Quistis nodded and gave him a failed SeeD salute, then grabbed Seifer's arm and dragged him out of the door. However, by the time it closed, Seifer was entertaining her with a story from when he was doing his public service, and by the time the lift bell pinged, the Instructor was laughing.  
  
"I don't know what you did, but you really changed. Are you sure you're not doing this on purpose, Seifer?" She choked.  
  
"'Course not. Not for dear Quisty, the Ice Queen," he joked, smirking violently. She slapped him on top of the head, but was laughing nonetheless.  
  
Rinoa laughed into Squall's jacket. "She's changed a lot, you know? Did you realize that her hair wasn't in that stupid style that it's been in for . . . a long time?" She asked, looking up at him with eyes full of tears of mirth. He was digging through his desk drawer, and grinned triumphantly as he retrieved a bottle of pills. Rinoa glared at him and snatched it out of his gloved hand, examining the label.  
  
"You really think I'm that dumb? They're for my migraines! Aww, c'mon Rinoa, you're not going to make me suffer with a headache, are you? That's the only stuff that works, despite the fact that it puts me to sleep half of the time that I take it . . ." He went off into a series of mumblings that retreated into inner thoughts as he discussed the habits of his pills with himself.  
  
Rinoa shook her head and scrambled out of his lap, going over to the window and cracking it open. The bottle had landed in the snow, and Squall slapped his forehead angrily.  
  
"Rinoa! That was -" He began, but she cut him off.  
  
"I have a better alternative, and it's NOT what you're thinking, I assure you." His eyes seemed to fall for a moment, but when she climbed back onto his lap, he raised an eyebrow curiously. She put two fingers on his forehead, which only made his brow rise further, and closed her eyes. As pale blue hues emitted from her fingers, he closed his own eyes, and when she drew away, he still did not open them. "Better?" She asked, a smug look on her face. He nodded slowly, but a look of confusion was still on his face.  
  
"Hyne Rinoa, you didn't give me a Sleep spell, did you? Oh, please no, I can't, I have to grade these . . ." He opened his eyes and gestured to the enormous stack of exam rubrics on his desk. She nodded cruelly, and grabbed his hand; yanking him out of his chair and kicking open the door. "This better be close by, 'cause I'm gonna fall and crack my head open in a minute . . ."  
  
"It's the same effect as your headache pills, Squall; you can't blame me," She said wickedly, kicking open the door to her SeeD dorm. Everybody knew that it was against strictest SeeD rules to have a member of the opposite gender in a dormitory, but right now neither of them was thinking about the instruction manual - Rinoa was trying to get Squall onto her bed, and the Commander was trying not to fall asleep and crush her.  
  
"But - it's not as strong as this - you shouldn't use your Sorceress gifts like that, so strong on your Knight . . ." His voice faded, losing its thread as she pushed him onto the bed.  
  
"Listen, I'm leaving you here for a while. I feel like subbing in for you." With a final grin of satisfaction, she slipped his officer's keycard from his pocket and exited the room, locking the door behind her.  
  
Well, at least those exams would get graded.  
  
~  
  
What do you think? Should there be another chapter, or is this one the end? Because either way, it's either going to end right here or next chapter. I would prefer it here, but I'm not so sure. If I get enough positive responses that say another chapter, I'll do it, although it'll be a tad bit short. Well, hope you're enjoying it. 


	12. Song: Walk On

---Disclaimer: 'Walk On' belongs to U2. I am not in any way, shape, or form trying to redistribute this wonderful song for money or anything regarding profit. Now, that sounded so official, I love it ^^  
  
---Author's Notes: Squall and Rinoa's theme song. End of story. I imagine it from Squall's POV, talking to Rinoa. This is the final chapter, as I decided that I couldn't do another one. I'll have acknowledgments/last minute author's notes up by tonight at the earliest.  
  
~  
  
'Walk On'  
  
~  
  
And love is not an easy thing  
  
The only baggage you can bring  
  
And love is not an easy thing  
  
The only baggage you can bring  
  
Is all that you can't leave behind  
  
~  
  
And if the darkness is to keep us apart  
  
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off  
  
And if your glass heart should crack  
  
And for a second you turn back  
  
Oh no, be strong  
  
~  
  
Walk on, walk on  
  
What you got, they can't steal it  
  
No, they can't even feel it  
  
Walk on, walk on  
  
Stay safe tonight  
  
~  
  
You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been  
  
A place that has to be believed to be seen  
  
You could have flown away  
  
A singing bird in an open cage  
  
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom  
  
~  
  
Walk on, walk on  
  
What you got they can't deny it  
  
Can't sell it or buy it  
  
Walk on, walk on  
  
Stay safe tonight  
  
~  
  
And I know it aches  
  
And your heart, it breaks  
  
And you can only take so much  
  
Walk on, walk on  
  
~  
  
Home . . . hard to know what it is if you never had one  
  
Home . . . I can't say where it is but I know I'm going home  
  
That's where the heart is  
  
~  
  
I know it aches  
  
How your heart, it breaks  
  
And you can only take so much  
  
Walk on, walk on  
  
~  
  
Leave it behind  
  
You've got to leave it behind  
  
All that you fashion  
  
All that you make  
  
All that you build  
  
All that you break  
  
All that measure  
  
All that you steal  
  
All this you can't leave behind . . .  
  
All that you reason  
  
All that you sense  
  
All that you speak  
  
All that you dress up  
  
All that you scheme . . .  
  
~ 


	13. Acknowledgments

Wow, I've waited far too long to do this. Acknowledgments, disclaimers, thank-yous, and all the stuff in-between.  
  
First of all, I want to thank EVERYONE who read and reviewed this story, whether a flame (I don't think I got any of those . . . yet) or a glowing evaluation, because it encouraged me to write and keep up with this story. I'm grateful to those who only reviewed once with a simple 'good' or even with constructive criticism, which I find hard to take, because it meant that someone took the time to read this and made my time worthwhile. By Dumbledore, nothing made me happier than the day I came home and found my first chapter had fourteen reviews. Fourteen! In one chapter! It scared the bejeezers outta me, because that never happened before. And 58 reviews (as of July fourth, 2003) is like . . . being gifted Barnes and Noble. My greatest thanks goes out to those extremely kind folks who reviewed EVERY SINGLE chapter, or nearly:  
  
Cherry6124  
  
Bianka-chan (my always loyal fan ^^ thank you so much!!)  
  
Josh  
  
Keiry  
  
Hiasha  
  
Angelprinczess29  
  
Thank you guys so much, from the bottom of my heart! You really helped me a lot!  
  
Second, on characters. Squall turned out a bit too Squallish for the first couple of chapters, but he got better later on - way better, and that was sorta odd. I apologize for any OOCness, but sometimes I just gotta make him smile! Anyway, in the last chapter in Esthar, he DID have his pants on. No odd activity occurred that night whatsoever. Just wanted to clear that up, for my piece of mind. And yes, Squall is smart enough to remove his chain whilst sleeping, which I made sure to emphasize each time he woke up. I don't know why . . . maybe to say that he's not stupid? Heh, he's smarter than he looks, people. The whole bit with the T-Rexaur in the beginning was just an excuse for me to have Squall in bed and have someone take care of him. Am I alone, or is it some female emotion that loves to see their favorite character hurt, sweating, and totally helpless?  
  
Rinoa was a bit too angsty throughout the whole thing, and was quite, QUITE OOC in the last chapter, something else I apologize for. However, I thought she went over well altogether, despite the sudden angst bursts every once in a while. SeeDy Rinoa is a very odd thing, considering she's a Sorceress. And despite everything, she didn't really use her magic that often, save the last chapter.  
  
Seifer, I thought, was very in-character. If I'm proud of one thing in this story, it's Seifer. Mocking, sneering, slightly changed Seifer was a joy to write because he can be one way and then snap back and be another. And, as always, he had Hyperion and his Knight-crossed trench coat, as well as his short, blonde haircut. Towards the end, he calls Quistis 'Quisty', a mocking term of endearment that didn't turn out quite as foul as he intended. Although I didn't end up expanding his relationship with Quistis as I wanted to, because Seiftis is a favorite pairing of mine, I just wanted to get it across that there was a sort of mutual dislike in the beginning, and how they ended up working together in the end . . . add to their relationship as you see fit, please ^^  
  
"Aww, you wanna wreak some havoc too?" Is what he asked Squall during the SeeD exam in Dollet, and, although he didn't get a chance to wreak any havoc in {Exile}, he still got to mess up Quistis' karma ^^  
  
Which brings me to Quisty, the Ice Queen. I don't know how she got that title, but I've seen it strewn around FF.net, and so I decided to hop on the bandwagon and use it. If somebody out there reading this invented it, and is offended, I apologize; I've seen several people use it, so please, PLEASE don't sue me. I'm quite broke as of right now. Quistis was . . . OOC when it came to her hair. The reason Squall wanted her hair down was because after his dream, he was momentarily afraid of losing his grasp on what was real, and he wasn't sure if Quistis letting her hair down was real or not. So telling her to keep it that way, and having her agree, although reluctantly, sort of secured his mind that he wasn't crazy. Hope that makes some sort of sense.  
  
Okay, these three are all together, because they only had minor parts in this tale. Selphie was, as always, Mrs. Mary Sunshine, getting nuts about the four-poster and, as always, calling Laguna 'Sir Laguna.' I'm quite proud of myself that I remembered that, actually. I am I giving myself too much self-praise here? Hope not. But anyway, Irvine as well. Those two got married because they loved each other, no matter how grudging they were to admit it. *points to chalkboard at a large diagram of Irvine and a crowd of women* See, I made a point that he never looked at another woman again after he got married. Oh, no! Irvine OOCness! Well, there was the kiss with Rinoa, but that was his friend, and it was friendly affection. *shifty eyes* Zell, as always, was Hotdog King, and he showed it. Not much else to say besides him; a bit daft at times, but otherwise Zell.  
  
Quick blog on Xu: the only reasons she had a very large part was A) 'Cause she has such a cool name, and when I write out the chapters I love making capital 'X's' (don't ask) and B) Because she's a Garden official, and the headache scene required three people, just because I felt like people would think it was a Squistis if Squall and Quistis were alone together.  
  
Laguna and Ellone. For some reason, I seem to be good at keeping Sir Laguna relatively in-character. Probably because of the slightly humorous, slightly angsty Feathers, in which I got to explore on the man with the machine gun. Oh, Laguna's so fun to write, so that's why they had a mission in Esthar, appose to any other place in the world. As well, I sort of made Squall's relationship with him a little unbelievable, that he would be rude to Rinoa so as not to ruin his father's meeting. Well . . . they're my favorite characters, so I needed them to work harmoniously together. OOC relationship! Ellone didn't have a big part, but I needed to mention her every once and a while because she's so darn groovy.  
  
Oh, and I apologize for the OC; I needed an apathetic messenger to deliver Rinoa's note to Squall, and since there isn't really any apathetic characters 'sides Squall (and I wouldn't go so far as to call him apathetic, really; just anti-social), and Rain sort of serves as my all- around character for everything - and has a million aliases. This was her true form, and I just shoved her in there randomly, and proved a point that she was really a nobody, hence Squall asking "Who's that?" when Xu suggests he brings her for the mission. Just wanted to clear that up. (You can also find her in one of her many aliases in a few of my Kingdom Hearts fanfictions as Nair, although her personality's a bit better in those.)  
  
Just a sidelong note: in this story, the ballroom was REALLY significant. I don't know why, but it sort of harbored every aspect of their relationship, from the first time she pointed out a shooting star to him to when he left her crying in Seifer's embrace. I just always loved the ballroom, and I wanted to put as many scenes in there as possible.  
  
Okay, giant disclaimer time! I had fun with huge disclaimers at the end of {Midsummer's Eve}, a Kingdom Hearts fanfiction, and now I'll do my best to acknowledge everything I used that wasn't mine. (I would go on the internet and actually find out, but, alas, my internet is currently down.)  
  
The quote in one of the last chapters, 'They say the rhythm of the earth is interrupted by the out of the ordinary. But how can you interrupt, with something that was meant to be?' was found on vartanho.com on a Sydney and Vaughn wallpaper. (Sydney and Vaughn are two of the main characters in my favorite TV show of all time, Alias.) You can find the wallpaper in Rambaldi's Studio, a link on the menu along the left-hand side. So, for now, the quote is © Vartanho. If anyone knows who wrote it, feel free to contact me, and I will re-upload this page with the correct credentials in order.  
  
The song 'Walk On', possibly my favorite song of all time, is © U2. The title is also included in a quote said by Squall to Rinoa, when he tells her to 'walk on' no matter what. That song is entirely copyright U2, and I did not want to use it for profit in any way, shape, or form. As well, I believe that it's Rinoa and Squall's theme song, because it just fits them so well. Excuse the over-amount of off-topic goodness.  
  
Okay, this has nearly nothing to do with it, but the chapter title 'Cry for Me' happens to be the title of one of the chapters for Dark Raion's 'Executioner.' By Dumbledore himself, I did NOT steal that! I was going to attempt to read 'Executioner' after falling in love with 'Reign of Shadows' and 'Infatuation of the Rose', but the chapter title immediately stopped me. This was around Chapter Nine that I noticed this, and I didn't want to change my chapter title, so I don't know which was updated first, my 'Cry for Me' or Dark Raion's. So, please, don't kill me!  
  
Why do I continue rambling and torturing you poor people? Well, anyway, this story was spawned from a single first-line that blossomed while I was getting a Chocobo in Trabia:  
  
It would be a typical Trabian winter.  
  
That's it. Nothing really earth-shattering, just getting a stupid Chocobo in Trabia. Oh, what is the world coming to?  
  
Inspiration! My inspiration, and the wonderful, awesome authors who grace this site and their works:  
  
{Crimson Lies}, first and foremost. What chapter-story's acknowledgements don't include Ashbear's heart-wrenching, jaw-dropping feature {Crimson Lies}? That story was the pinnacle for me, because that is what made me want to read all of the other terrific Final Fantasy VIII fics out there. I could not have started writing FFVIII if not for her and her marvelous contribution to Fanfiction.net. End of story, really. She's such an awesome author, and I'm anxiously awaiting Chapter Five of {Dancing in Time} and {Somewhere in Between}, which she does with Wayward Tempest, whom I will get to in a minute.  
  
{Griever} by Larathia is recommended and required reading for any true, dedicated Final Fantasy VIII fan. I loved everything about it, especially the fact that Squall has to be taken care of a lot, and we all know that I love sick-fics (if you don't know this by now, I'm exceedingly surprised). Not to mention an awesome plot, great in-character-ness (a word?), and a completely demonic villain that makes you hate every inch of both Odine and Alicia.  
  
Whilst writing {Exile}, I was reading {The Promise of Nightmares}, an interesting, twisted fanfiction by XmagicalX. Yet again a vile, unlikable but truly remarkable villain, with an odd little puppet dude with a power resembling Ellone's. Squall's nightmares were absolutely terrific, and vivid, and Seifer was - I cringe to say it - extremely likable. As well, it was a sort of sick-fic, and Laguna was a truly awesome part of the story. Ellone was also extremely brave, something I'd never seen done before quite like that.  
  
Wayward Tempest has too many awesome fanfictions for me to name here, but among my favorites are {Tides of Fate} and {Sorted Laundry}, of course. {Tides of Fate} was beautiful, and, if you hadn't guessed already, a form of a sick-fic. I keep begging in my mind for it to continue, and I hope that one day it will. I also love Zell in that story, as he demonstrates how far friendship can go. And Rinoa, no matter how much I hate her (which is quite surprising, given the stories I write), was truly great to Squall, and what she did for him.  
  
*big breath* And, as if to wrap up everything I just said:  
  
Thank you, once again, to everyone who stayed with this story and didn't give up, especially if you reviewed. Especially to the six awesome people that I mentioned up there, and, as always, my favorite person on Fanfiction.net, BIANKA-CHAN! *glomps her*  
  
Well, thas it. Hope to see you around, and looking forward to reading everyone's fanfictions; I've got lotsa time this summer. *hearty sigh*  
  
With all due respect,  
  
Ellyrianna  
  
Laguna's Fangirl  
  
Squall's obsessive  
  
Ujournal fanatic  
  
. . . Author? 


End file.
